Hello, Ducks!
Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your
Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for SayerDee, December 7st, 2013. A day that will limp in infancy. Whatever the hell THAT means. Although Pearl Necklace Day seems an
extremely fitting end to Picturing
Blair (Ren? (Chad?)) In The Buff Week…
Happy
Birthday, meanwhile, to Nadia, who turns twenty-four today, although it is
unclear to Us where. Also, Happy
Birthday to Greg, who also turns twenty-four today, right here in The City Of
Brotherly Love Handles.
It
is difficult, when One has nothing to say for five days a week, to stretch that
nothing to fill seven days. But, as that
is what HoliDailies (http://www.holidailies.org
) demands that We do, Ours not to reason why, Ours but to pie in the sky, here’s
mud in your eye, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly…
Sorry.
Meanwhile,
when We checked weather.com this morning, in Milwaukee, West Wisconsonomington
(which is where weather.com thinks We live), it was one degree. ONE DEGREE!!!
Singular! Which is one degree
less than two degrees. Somebody needs to
hurry his hind parts back to civilization before his damn ballz fall off.
In still other news We are
once again sharing with you Our very most favoritest Starzina’s Time of the Month
Horoscope video (Sagittarius) with
you (see above). Here is the link with
which you may share it with others: http://youtu.be/6f1m5GLfk1Y You’re welcome.
And here’s the HorrorScope…
It is C. Thomas Howell’s birthday. Which means, of course, that We are compelled
to say “C. Thomas Howell. C. Thomas
Howell run.” Hey, We don’t make the
rules.
You have got to sit down and make plans today (Oh, NOW you
tell Us. When We sat down earlier, “plans”
is not what We made.)
(The only thing better than a poop joke is a stealth poop joke. (A stealth poop joke is, of course, a joke
where We don’t actually SAY “poop”, but We make you THINK “poop” nonetheless. Poop thinkers. (Any joke, meanwhile, is improved by the
presence of the word “nonetheless”.)))
(Comedy. It’s not
just for breakfast any more.)
— otherwise, you may find that things are too crazy to
handle. (Alternatively, too hazy to
crandle.)
Your energy is just right for at least one major
distraction, but no more than that. (Wow. Is it just Us, or does that somehow sound as
though We’re differently-abled?)
You don’t mind helping the other members of a group if they
get stuck and need your assistance — that’s why you work well as part of a
team. (And, as We all know, there is no “I” in “team”. There are, however, two of “U” in “Uranus”.)
Your actions prove you are good at taking orders as well as
carrying them out, plus you can also be a fantastic leader. (Fantastic (adj.): imaginary
or groundless in not being based on reality; foolish or irrational.)
But this is a good time to hang out in the background and
learn from someone else’s knowledge. (Okay, who’s well-hung in the background?)
It shouldn’t take long to emerge as one of the team’s
strongest members, which could definitely lead to some excellent opportunities
for you. (Not much of a team then,
izzit?)
You’ve got momentum, (Not to mention Imodium™.)
(We were going to make an inertia joke, but then We
realized that poop is way funnier than physics.)
and some great energy is coming your way, too. (That’s what
they say to people as they strap them into the electric chair.)
If someone special is on your mind, let them know. (Good
lord…how many “Picturing Somebody Nekkid” weeks do We need to have to get
sexted a damn dirty picture already?)
(Not to mention the concern We expressed for the blue-ening
of ballz in West Wisconsonomington.)
If you’re feeling at loose ends, look for new
possibilities, online and in real life.
(Is it possible that there are no possibilities? Because it would seem that there is no
possibility that there are no possibilities.
Is puzzlement.)
Happy Picturing Blair (Ren? (Chad?)) In The Buff Week!
Namaste, MotherFuckers.
In gaseousness,
Starzina Starfish-Browne
(Your Your-O-Scopes:
(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but
better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!). For
real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good
friend AstroGeek here: http://sett.com/astrogeek895/. Our
Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better
by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own
lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets,
planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam,
jetsam, and Jetsons. Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
*****************************************************************************
Starzina
Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not
really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician
and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her
humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show
and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this
unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course,
an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera
Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her
doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality.
There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has
Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on
the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian
helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her
daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she
enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the
coxswain of the Penn rowing team.
