Hello, Ducks!
Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your
Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for JustAnotherMadgeTheManicuristMonday, November SebbenTeenst, 2014.
It’s all fun and games till you realize that
Casper the Friendly Ghost is a dead child.
In case We’ve missed a vote somewhere along
the line, We heartily disapprove of the weather.
Also, this just in:
As you can no doubt tell, We have almost
nothing to report. We trust that those
of you who only read these e-pisstles at your workplace enjoyed having A Very
Special Saturday E-dition waiting for you this morning. We will be continuing the Eric’s!Daily!Horoscope!
CONTEST! found therein, as We have so far had only one (unsuccessful) entry:
Eric’s!Daily!Horoscope! CONTEST!
We
frequently remark upon the fact that We have seen (what We think is) quite a
number of Eric’s!Daily!Horoscope! Gentle Readers nekkid. However, in November to date, only ONE of the
Gentle Readers to whom We have wished a Happy Birthday/Belated Birthday has
displayed his (or her (well, okay, HIS)) birthday suit to Us.
Your
mission, should you decide to accept it, is to guess which one.
One
guess per Gentle Reader, and the first correct answer wins a prize.
(Also,
didja know that We have been e-pisstling e-pissodes of these e-pisstles in one
form or another since 2001? And that the
earliest dead-tree archival records from 2004 are now TEN YEARS OLD, and can be
found (for a small fee) here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/eric-singel/erics-daily-horoscope-2004/paperback/product-300894.html
?
)
We have precious little else to report
(Precious Little is, of course, Chicken Little’s slutty sister. (Else is her married name. (Vacation time
shares are still available in the windmills of Our mind for January and most of
February.))), so We suggest that, if you’re in the mood for Our usual humor
with a side of smut, you check out Our
recent Joseph Gordon-Levitt Day here:
or any of the “Elih Tani naked”/”Elih Tani’s penis” chronicles, somewhere in
the vicinity of here:
Meanwhile, We have leapt feet first,
nipples-to-the-wind and tits akimbo, into Scorpio, and Our Scorpio video is
above. Here is the link with which you may share it with both of your
friends: http://youtu.be/UiJLA4MRNNg?list=UUtq4ffsQ_xGu4T5NSA2HfaQ
Thank Gawd We didn’t stray from the point.
****************************************
Okay, in keeping with
Our ongoing Elih Tani’s naked Elih Tani penis theme, no fewer than THREE “web
video stars” have birthdays today, according to Our “celebrity” birthday
website. We shall, in Our infinite
wisdom, give a birthday shout-out to the cutest one, who is called Landon
Romano.
Also, both RuPaul and Danny
Devito were born today, thereby forcing Us to contemplate them as a
couple. As Our head (along with Rhea
Perlman’s) has just exploded, here, in lieu of call-and-response with AssHatted
Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulist) Kelli, is A Reading from Madame Olivia:
Greetings
Starzina ~
Welcome back. Madame Olivia
is happy to see you again.
Madame Olivia would like to remind you that all of us can make a
tiny mistake once in a while, in one realm or another. The thing is, that
though we might fret, the result can open a whole new way of thinking which can
be tremendously positive. The takeaway? To
enhance creativity, forget about perfection! Apply this insight as needed
and watch what happens.
You know, little Aries,
people seem to expect high energy and bombastics from you a lot of the time.
What if you don't feel like putting out high energy and bombastics in a
particular arena? What if you feel like kicking back and letting someone else
do the spearheading? It's ok to hand the reins to someone else and take a time
out. In fact it may be essential for you and incidentally for the good of all.
Word of
the hour: connection
It's been a pleasure to be
with you. Farewell from Madame Olivia until we meet again.
Namaste, MotherFuckers.
In gaseousness,
Starzina Starfish-Browne
(Your Your-O-Scopes:
(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think
of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say
(and how right they are!). For real live actual ass(tromlaogical)
ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here: http://sett.com/astrogeek895/. Our
Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by
comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own
lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets,
planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam,
jetsam, and Jetsons. Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
*****************************************************************************
Starzina
Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not
really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician
and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her
humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show
and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this
unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course,
an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera
Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her
doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality.
There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has
Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on
the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian
helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her
daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she
enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the
coxswain of the Penn rowing team.
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