I heard somebody say, “Burn, baby, burn…”

Greetings, Ebullient Revolutionaries Indubitably Counterattack---

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, August 18, 2010 (Happy Hump Day to all you Humps and Humpettas!  While you’re all busily humping away, We for some reason cannot help but wonder, “Is ‘sockdrawer’ all one word?  And, if not, why not?”):

(We beg your pardon; We never promised you a rose garden.)

(Meanwhile, in Our new-found role as The Statue Of Libertine (“Give Us your tired, your pornstars, your horny messes yearning to BlowMe…”), We would just like to say, if you’re gonna be questioning your sexuality, We could do with a little less questioning, and a little more sexuality.  We’re just sayin’.)

(Here once again is the SitOnMyFaceBook event for the fundraiser at which We will be strutting and fretting on Sunday: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001248400015#!/event.php?eid=136408703056751&ref=ts   And here is the SitOnMyFaceBook event for the upcoming WaitStaff show in the 2010 Philly Fringe Festival, The Real Housewives of South Philly: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-WaitStaff/177605379471?ref=ts#!/event.php?eid=140078749365736&ref=mf   Please note that that show will also be playing on September 25 at Ursinus College (for all of Our Ursinian readers), as well as the following weekend, October 2 & 3, in the Wilmington Fringe Festival (for all of Our Delawarian readers).)

(If We have Ursinian or Delawarian readers, please give Us a shout, as We are currently convinced that We have about two readers.  Neither of whom has a computer.)

(Here is Our video for you to continue to ignore:

)

(Our Our-O-Scope:)

Yes, this is what contentment is about. (Actually, this is what condiments are about. In a condominium.  As to whether that includes cardamom, that’s a conundrum.)

(What were We talking about?)

 Of course, it may be a very busy, very hectic contentment  (That would appear to be an OxyMoron.  (An OxyMoron is, of course, a stupid person with a cleaning fetish.  Not to be confused with an EthelMerman. Which is a loud person with a Broadway fetish.))

(What?  Oh, NOW you’re gonna start to pay attention.  When We’re clearly beyond help.)

-- but it's definitely not boring, is it? (We had chili cheese fries for dinner last night.  We are the least gastrointestinally boring person you know.)

(Micro$oft Weird™ disapproves of the adverbial form “gastrointestinally”.  Micro$oft Weird™ can shove it up its @ssz.  (Heh.  See what We did there?))

Remember when you were bored, restless and eager for change? (Honey, We barely remember the Alamo.)

That was then; this is now. (Shut. Up. Kelli.)

So don't complain. (Oh, sure.  Take Our best event  away from Us.  Whoever will want to dance with Us at the ball now?)

Not one word. (Antediluvian.)

Whether they're nice about it or not won't matter. (On the other hand, if they’re mice about it, it could be disgusting.)

You'll know if you're being rejected, (Are there hidden cameras here?)

and you won't take kindly to it.  (What are We supposed to do…tie people up?)

(You want We should do a bubble dance?)

Much as you'd like to simply let your opponent know in no uncertain terms that they're playing with fire, your innate sense of fairness won't let you do it -- fortunately.  (So wait…are you saying DON’T tell them they’re playing with fire, and let ‘em burn? (Baby, burn…disco inferno…))

(Your Euro-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com

maybe it’s cowgrass)