Down by the waterhole, drunk every Friday; eating their nuts, saving their raisins for Sunday.

Greetings, Easy Recipe Includes Campbell’s™----

(Surely you didn’t think you were going to go forever without the pixture of Charles Nelson Reilly that We mentioned yesterday?  There is only so much WorldWideInterWebnetz, after all.  Some days it’s half-naked Superman, some days it’s Charles Nelson Reilly.  Deal and cope.)

(Meanwhile, Our eyes chanced this morning to wander (hey, if you were (subjunctively) stuck with Us all day, you’d wander too) over to the right there, to the index of Famous Personages Fortunate Enough To Have Been Mentioned In Erix Daily Horoscope. It occurred to Us that, if We were the type of wingnut…er, person who fancies conspiracy theories and sees the Virgin Mary in his Froot Loops™, We might find enormous significance in the fact that Ayn Rand appears immediately before Barack Obama. (We’ll pause here while all of Our conspiracy theorist readers go “Oooooh!” and “Aaaaahhhh!” and “Look, the Virgin Mary!”)  Oddly, the significance immediately diminishes to nil when We rephrase it as “Ayn Rand appears immediately after Ashton Kutcher” or “Barack Obama appears immediately before Barbara Bain”.)

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, November 10, 2010 (Happy birthday to MizLOretta, who turns twenty-four today.  (We Are in, for those who are unaware, the Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopular) sign of Scorpio.  Eating Cheerios with Fabio, while listening to the radio on the patio.  (We have no idea what just happened there.  Moving on…))  And Happy Hump Day to the rest of all y’all humpsters-in-the-dumpsters.):

(Did anyone else hear that last bit to the tune of “Bungle in the Jungle”?  Just Us?  Alrighty then…)

 (Our-O-Scopes:)

You’re trying to deal with how other people see you today (Hey, if We can’t see them, they can’t see Us. Nanny-nanny-poo-poo.)

— though it’s not really as bad as all that. (But is it as bad as Balzac? (Dear lord, are We cultured and refined, or what?  (Don’t say it.)  Balzac, for the love of all that’s holy.  Why, We’re downright litter airy.  Of course, you just KNOW We’re about to fu(k it all up with a ballsac joke.))

(Micro$oft Weird™ doesn’t approve of “ballsac”, with or without a K on the end.  Like your scrotum, here it is in a nutshell.)

(NOW Micro$oft Weird™ wants Us to change “in a nutshell” to “briefly” or “concisely”.  Micro$oft Weird™ has no fu(king sense of humor.)

 Make sure that they’re getting the right info, (And the wrong tofu.  (Isn’t that a Cole Porter song?  “The Right Info and the Wrong Tofu”… We are thinking it’s from Can-Can.))

which could just mean the info you need them to hear.  (Oh, please. Who listens to Us?)

Life can be just a jumble of squiggly-shaped jigsaw pieces, making no sense whatsoever (Much like this sentence.)

— until that one piece falls into your lap (Urethra!)

and suddenly the full picture is clear. (That generally happens when you get a piece in your lap.)

Today you’ll get that piece, (From your lips to God’s iPhone.)

and a mystery that has long been plaguing you will be solved. (Kiss Us quick, We’re Edwin Drood.)

The solution may be a bit of a disappointment (At least seven percent.)

(We’re just gonna keep making litter airy references until your d@mn heads explode.  Deal with it.)

— the truth is usually a lot less dramatic than you imagine. (It is, however, out there.)

Shopping or errand-running will connect you with an outgoing person who entertains you and makes you smile. (You’ve got spunk.  I hate spunk.)

 Trying too hard gets you nowhere when it comes to love, especially today. (And yet, you promised Us a piece in Our lap.)

Meet everyone with an open heart and high spirits, and experience them as they are, not as what you want from them. (Wow.  That’s heavy.  We’ll have what she’s smoking.)

(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com )