Just like watching the detectives…don't get cute

                                         

Greetings, Election Results Interrupt Cannon---

(A little history lesson for the chirren in the room: back in the Early Days of television, when you still had to pedal it, they for some reason could not broadcast a detective show unless the detective had some sort of gimmick.  Thus, you had a detective in a wheelchair (Ironside), a detective who was bald (Kojak), a detective who was old (Barnaby Jones), a detective who had a bird and killed his wife (Baretta), and a detective who was gay (MacMillan and Wife).  Cannon was a detective who was fat.  We sh1t you not.)

(Speaking of making history, on the off chance that you have somehow managed to miss your television, and your radio, and your daily newspaper, and your WorldWideInterWebNetz telling you what day it is today, We are here to keep you up to speed.  (Mmmm….speed.)  It is, of course, Erection Day.  So, if you happen to have an erection, stop by OurHouseWhereWeLive. And We’ll give you (amongst other things)  a button that says “I Voted”.)

(And now, a word to Our SitOnMyFaceBook friends:  it makes absolutely no difference to anyone that you have voted ALREADY.   Nowhere in the rules does it state that all votes cast before noon count double.  The fact that you voted at 7AM, or whatever unChristly hour they open the polls, does not make you any more virtuous than anyone else.  We Our Own Selves Personally have not voted yet, because (A.) it is too cold to go outside in Our bathrobe, and (2.) We are busy entertaining YouPeople.  But eventually We shall pull together an ensemble, walk the two blocks to Our polling place, and do Our Civic Doody by cancelling out the vote of The Sainted Mother.  So, at the end of the day, the only people you are more virtuous than are the people who did not vote at all, and the people in Delaware who voted for that witch woman who wants to outlaw masturbation.)

Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, November 02, 2010 (Happy Erection Day!  (Like there could be an UNhappy Erection Day.))

 (Our-O-Scopes:)

(Ordinarily, We start at the very beginning (a very good place to fart), just like Julie Andrews taught Us  (hmmm…they never had a detective show with a detective who was Julie Andrews…) and allow each sentence of Kelli’s idiotology to wash over Us like golden showers at an old folks’ home.  Today, however, We’ve made the mistake of reading ahead, and discovering ten of the most boring Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulations) in the history of Zodiacology.   How a day with an erection in it could possibly be THIS dull, We haven’t got any idea.  But We’re pretty sure that, if We’re going to turn the tide (or tine the turd (or train the teen (We could just keep doing this until you uncontrollably start singing Tea For Two, but We won’t.  You’re welcome.))), We’d better get started.  So We’re off. Don’t forget to bring your erection over later.  Kisses!)

Some days are perfect for making big ideas and plans come to life. Other days are better suited for taking care of the smaller details. This is one of those other days. Take advantage of the time to get your bills paid and your desk organized. Go through your emails and either archive or delete anything that doesn’t have immediate relevance. Then, when the day for big things comes along, you won’t be bogged down by the boring details. When it comes to the love, there’s definitely something to the notion of first glances. Give someone new and maybe a bit different a chance tonight — you never know what you’re going to learn.

(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com )