Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Greetings, Echinoderms Reveal Insectuous Connection---

(Yes, We said “insectuous”, Micro$oft Weird™.  Put on your high heels and get over yourself.  We blinded you with science.)

Here is your horoscope for Friday, November 19, 2010 (Happy Friday to all you denizens of the working world.  (Does the working world have denizens, or is that just the underworld?  (Is there a working underworld?  And who exactly are they working under? (Linguisticisms are complexicated.  Fortunately, We are cunning, linguistically.  Our tongues, let Us show you how We speak in them.)))):

(We have precious little to report.  We shall attempt to disguise that fact with luscious prattle.  It may be a specious battle, but We are in facetious fettle, eating delicious Skittles™ while listening to sumptuous heavy metal.)

(How are We doing so far?  Alrighty, then; moving on…)

 (Our-O-Scopes:)

A little extra patience can pay off in a big way today, (See also:  Aries, Definition Of.  Patience?  Not so much.)

so make sure that you’re letting others see your quieter, more tolerant side. (Jigga what? (We were going to put a Monty Python joke here.  But then We realized We were conflating Monty Python’s “I’d like a license for my pet fish, Eric” sketch with their “dead parrot” sketch, and suddenly Our joke just wasn’t funny anymore.  Sigh.))

It’s a really good day for you to let others take the lead.  (Oh, fine.  Let ‘em have the d@mn lead, then.  Also the zinc, the cadmium, and the molybdenum.  But tell ‘em to keep their greedy hands off the fu(king tungsten.)

(That was a little “heavy metal” joke.  (Very little.)  Kiss Us quick, We’re My Chemical Romance.)

You’ve got a lot of living to do (Bye-bye, Birdie.)

and you may have been going a little overboard lately (Mostly, however, We’re just board.)

— but knowing impulsive you, (Impulse me, my sweet impulsable you…)

(It’s just a riotous musical smorgasbord in here this morning, innit?)

it’s probably surprising (SURPRISE!!!)

that you haven’t gone further than you have! (Don’t tempt Us.)

It’s time now to sit down and look things over, though, with an eye toward creating — and sticking to — a nice, stable budget. (We ain’t got a d@mn JAWB, We are pretty sure We can’t afford a stable.  Fu(k you, and the wh0re you rode in on.)

Now stop giggling. (“Giggling”?  “GIGGLING”?!?  We assure you, (thereby making an ass of you and Uri Geller) that We are far too serious to giggle. Oh, sure, We may chortle or guffaw.  We may even titter from time to time. But giggle?  No sir.)

(Heh.  “Titter”.  Funnier than “butter”, almost as funny as “dicker”, all according to Cocker.)

You can do it. (Obviously.  We’ve been doing quite a lot of it this morning.)

(You DID notice that We’d slipped into a British accent a few paragraphs back, didn’t you?)

Besides, aren’t you trying to save up for a vacation?  (Actually, We’re saving up for a winning PowerBall™ ticket.)

You’ve got lots of friends (And still, We have to pay for Our own d@mn therapist.)

— you can’t be the only single one among them! (And yet, We never have a date.  Go figger.)

Get down to the basics and start networking in earnest. (We’re not a hundred percent sure, but We suspect that might be a little disconcerting for poor Earnest.)

Even if you don’t find your soulmate, (How telling is it that Micro$oft Weird™ doesn’t think “soulmate” is a word?)

you can find like-minded pals for a new P.O.V.  (Also, We could put Our IUD in the VCR.  LOL.)

(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com )