White boys give me goose bumps, white boys give me chills

Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s Daily Horoscope for Friday, January 07, 2011.  A lovely dusting of white powder all over everyfing, and me without a straw.  Sigh.  I am letting Himself continue to sleep until the snow stops, at which point he will have to get up and shovel it.  (Surely you didn’t expect THIS delicate flower to risk life and limb to shovel snow?!?  In THESE shoes?)  When last heard from, Himself was having a vividly detailed dream about vacationing on a Caribbean island, in which, amongst other Gidget-y activities, he drove a speedboat and did that thing where you fly along behind it as well…do I mean parasailing?  (We don’t have beach sports in England.)

At any rate, happy Friday to everyone, and I trust you’ve all made it to wherever you needed to go without falling on your bums.  (This is not to imply, of course, that any of YOU have more than one bum.  Although Himself, these days…)

If any of you has any experience with or information about webcams, now would be the time to share (and Cher alike).

In other news, it has been one week since I took over the writing of Eric’s Daily Horoscope, and already the eyes of the media are upon us!  We received commentary on yesterday’s installment from none other than Laurie Corzett, aka libramoon, and have subsequently enrolled in her Yahoo group and are awaiting further developments with bated breath (which, if Himself were (subjunctively (DAMMIT!)) writing this, would be pointed out as being not at all the same as BAITED breath.))  As I am well aware that Eric’s Daily Horoscope readers are stone lazy (oh, you are so…he is still waiting to learn who Google follower Chris Ohm is, and I bet not one  of you answers the plea about the webcam), I shall reproduce Ms. Moon’s comment, complete with poem, here:

1 comments:

libramoon said...

You are invited to help to form what we continue to become:


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/seerseeker/

gypsy hand

Too brite days
midnights that refuse to
abide dark and secret
as empty phrases chant
to fairytale Moons
I tell myself
This is no ordinary room
This is no fleeting flittering life
This is a magical passageway
sparkling like mica, like miracles

Quiet traces
luminous impression
a trailing kite tail binds
silent whimpers, sojourning whispers,
tears shining behind mime smiles

Crone's gnarled fingers, playing
to spite agony
simulate touch
beyond ache 
Too brite cell,
crouched scarred shadow
I cast silhouette of metamagic gypsy
hand
offering

Laurie Corzett - libramoon42@mindspring.com
http://emergingvisions.blogspot.com

January 6, 2011 6:06 PM 

Everyone knows you’re a great leader, (He plays a mean Simon Says, as well.  Just so you know. I mean, in case you were wondering.  Never know when you’re going to want a rousing volley of Simon Says, do you?)

and most people can see that you need them as much as they need you. (Mm-hmm.  So how ‘bout some of them come and shovel our snow?)

 It’s a really good time for you to give and take in equal measure. (That sounds more like the Hokey-Pokey than Simon Says, dunnit?)

Everyone wins!  (Not much of a game, then, is it?)

(Leftover Christmas cookies...the Breakfast of Champions. (Actually, I am saving Himself from Himself.  A few more cookies for HIM, and he’ll need an entire new wardrobe.  And you really can’t shovel snow in a muumuu.))

After a lot of recent socializing, (One can, presumably, socialize with socialists and commune with communists.  But what the hell does one do with fascists?)

you are finally getting the chance to spend some quality time on your own. (Ah, yes…time with me is definitely quality time!  As some of you would find out if you’d bovver to get in touch.)

(We interrupt the Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulations) to bring you this:  followers of cultural news (which, as readers of Eric’s Daily Horoscope, is ALL of you, yes?), will have no doubt heard about the controversy in which some authority figure skater or another set out to replace all of the N-words in Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn  with “slave”.  Well, herewith a more twenty-first century choice, in which they are all replaced by “hipster”:  http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-hipster-huckleberry-finn/14451414  (Parenthetically, am I the only one who, when someone says the phrase “the N-word” these days, has an overwhelming urge to say, “Ninja?”))

(Ninja, please.)

You may think you still want to be out and about enjoying the wild life today, (The sun is currently melting the snow that was going to require shoveling.  There is now no telling what I might do.)

but once you get a little taste of solitude, (Too late…I already ate Christmas cookies.)

you will settle right in happily. (Which is the opposite of crappily, but not as much fun as slaphappily.)

If you’re meeting someone today, keep things light and breezy. (Who the hell would I be meeting on a day like this?  Frosty the SnowNinja?)

 It’s not a great time to cut to the chase (Or to cut the cheese.  (Many Americans don’t realize how much we British love a good fart joke.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t one.))

or share your deep, dark secrets. (I was going to write a whole Mandingo-based long-form joke here, but then I decided I couldn’t be arsed.)

Be patient and let things happen — this might have potential.  (So what you’re saying Kelli, is that this potentially has potential?  Stupid American cow.)

(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com )

Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really.  She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman.  At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality.  There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste.  Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.