There was something in the air that night

Greetings, Entrance Ramp Inclines Counterclockwiseally---

(For a moo-moo there, We were flummoxed, as Micro$oft Weird™ appeared to be letting Us get away with “Counterclockwiseally”.  But then We realized that this was a new installation of Micro$oft Weird™ and that it was ignoring capitalized words. Clearly, it had never seen Us type, or it would not ignore anything.  Without a proper spellchecker, Erix Daily Horoscope would look like ILUQSE6123 DYIUEGdfyguydudFDUITE3R8923T5 FUHJFWD FQWERIQ3RIYIQYR90qkwurgquiweryoiqwyrqowry90qow9ryq.)

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, September 8, 2010 (Happy birthday to Kelly, who turns twenty-four today.  And Happy Rush Limbaugh to Our Jewish friends.  (Clearly, We need to develop a better understand of Judaism…what the h3ll is so happy about a right-wingnut crackhead?)): 

(So, since We spoke to you last We have been a busy little beaver.  On Friday, We got Our computer fixed (finally).  On Saturday, We saw WaitStaff director Domenick Scudera’s OTHER Fringe show, The Tell-Tale Heart. (There are several more performances; get your tickets here: http://www.livearts-fringe.org/details.cfm?id=13631 .)  On Sunday, We performed The Real Housewives of South Philly to TWO sold out houses; reviews are here: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/102297364.html?page=2&c=y and here http://citypaper.net/fringe/2010/show.php/action/confirm/id/180/ . On Monday, We actually left OurHouseWhereWeLive and went out in the world for a change.  And on Tuesday…ah, Tuesday.  On Tuesday, We visited the highly trained professionals at tax preparer R&H Cock, where We learned that, although We DO owe the IRS approximately fourteen hundred dollars, R&H Cock has to pay for it, because they done fu(ked up.)

(Heh.  He said “beaver”.)

(We have put a pixture of curtain call from The Real Housewives of South Philly  as today’s Erix Daily Horoscope Pixture Du Jour Au Jus Quel Frommage because that’s all you’re ever gonna see of it if you don’t get your tickets quick, fast, and in a hurry.  Tonight’s show is already sold out with a waiting list, and other shows are selling out fast.  Go IMMEDIATELY to http://www.livearts-fringe.org/details.cfm?id=13844 to buy your tickets, or you’ll have to see Us at the Wilmington Fringe.  In, ya know, Delaware.)

(We haven’t mentioned Our video in a while; here it is.  If you are fortunate enough to get tickets to The Real Housewives of South Philly,  you may actually have a Jesus sighting.)

)

(Our Our-O-Scope)

The part in the ceremony where the officiating preacher, justice or rabbi asks for participants to either voice objections or 'forever hold your peace'? (We always thought they were saying “forever hold your p3nis”.  As in, if you don’t bust up this wedding right now, you’ll be stuck holding your own.)

(Sigh.)

Well, you might not be at a wedding, (But can there still be cake?)

but the choice is the same: speak now or wish you did for the rest of your life. (Is it just Us, or is this like ten of the most boring horoscopes ever?)

Bet you won't be able to keep quiet.  (Bet you can’t eat just one.  (P3nis, that is.  Or cake.  Or p3nis with frosting on it.  Pretty pink roses.  (Clearly, We got nothin’.  Move along…nothing to see here.))

If you must work (Not any time soon.)

and your desk isn't near a window, have someone move it. (The desk or the window?  We’re so confused.)

You'll need that window handy so that you can stare out of it, sighing. (Mmm-hmm.  At Our last jawb, We needed that window handy so We could jump out of it.  Trouble was, We were only on the second floor, so We would have had to crawl back up and jump again.)

You're tired, cranky and definitely not ready to take on any major projects. (Just when We thought you weren’t paying any attention…)

Unfortunately, you've already been signed up for several. (Obviously.  Agree to everything, and get out of it later.)

Oh, just grin and bear it.  (Or grin and bare it.  Our brand new career as The World’s Fattest Stripper.  If they pay by the pound, We’re gonna clean up.)

(Your YOUR-O-Scopes):

http://www.humorscope.com

c-o-w-g-r-a-s-s…Cowgrass makes the very best… chocolate)