Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for JustAnotherMadgeTheManicuristMonday, November SebbenTeenst, 2014.
It’s all fun and games till you realize that Casper the Friendly Ghost is a dead child.
In case We’ve missed a vote somewhere along the line, We heartily disapprove of the weather.
Also, this just in:
As you can no doubt tell, We have almost nothing to report. We trust that those of you who only read these e-pisstles at your workplace enjoyed having A Very Special Saturday E-dition waiting for you this morning. We will be continuing the Eric’s!Daily!Horoscope! CONTEST! found therein, as We have so far had only one (unsuccessful) entry:
We frequently remark upon the fact that We have seen (what We think is) quite a number of Eric’s!Daily!Horoscope! Gentle Readers nekkid. However, in November to date, only ONE of the Gentle Readers to whom We have wished a Happy Birthday/Belated Birthday has displayed his (or her (well, okay, HIS)) birthday suit to Us.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to guess which one.
One guess per Gentle Reader, and the first correct answer wins a prize.
(Also, didja know that We have been e-pisstling e-pissodes of these e-pisstles in one form or another since 2001? And that the earliest dead-tree archival records from 2004 are now TEN YEARS OLD, and can be found (for a small fee) here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/eric-singel/erics-daily-horoscope-2004/paperback/product-300894.html ? )
We have precious little else to report (Precious Little is, of course, Chicken Little’s slutty sister. (Else is her married name. (Vacation time shares are still available in the windmills of Our mind for January and most of February.))), so We suggest that, if you’re in the mood for Our usual humor with a side of smut, you check out Our recent Joseph Gordon-Levitt Day here:
or any of the “Elih Tani naked”/”Elih Tani’s penis” chronicles, somewhere in the vicinity of here:
Meanwhile, We have leapt feet first, nipples-to-the-wind and tits akimbo, into Scorpio, and Our Scorpio video is above. Here is the link with which you may share it with both of your friends: http://youtu.be/UiJLA4MRNNg?list=UUtq4ffsQ_xGu4T5NSA2HfaQ
Thank Gawd We didn’t stray from the point.
Okay, in keeping with Our ongoing Elih Tani’s naked Elih Tani penis theme, no fewer than THREE “web video stars” have birthdays today, according to Our “celebrity” birthday website. We shall, in Our infinite wisdom, give a birthday shout-out to the cutest one, who is called Landon Romano.
Also, both RuPaul and Danny Devito were born today, thereby forcing Us to contemplate them as a couple. As Our head (along with Rhea Perlman’s) has just exploded, here, in lieu of call-and-response with AssHatted Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulist) Kelli, is A Reading from Madame Olivia:
Greetings Starzina ~
Welcome back. Madame Olivia is happy to see you again.
Madame Olivia would like to remind you that all of us can make a tiny mistake once in a while, in one realm or another. The thing is, that though we might fret, the result can open a whole new way of thinking which can be tremendously positive. The takeaway? Apply this insight as needed and watch what happens.
You know, little Aries, people seem to expect high energy and bombastics from you a lot of the time. What if you don't feel like putting out high energy and bombastics in a particular arena? What if you feel like kicking back and letting someone else do the spearheading? It's ok to hand the reins to someone else and take a time out. In fact it may be essential for you and incidentally for the good of all.
It's been a pleasure to be with you. Farewell from Madame Olivia until we meet again.
(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!). For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here: http://sett.com/astrogeek895/. Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons. Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.