I wear my sunglasses at night

Greetings, Emperor Rinses Invisible Clothes---


Here is your horoscope for Friday, June 18, 2010 (So didja miss Us? (How did those crickets get in here?) We were Otherwise Engaged yesterday. Had Ourselves a dinner guest, We did. Meanwhile, to segue (what’s a segue? About a pound and a half…) to today’s Eric’s Daily Horoscope Pixture Du Jour Au Jus Maurice Chevalier M Night Shyamalan Rama Lama Ding Dong (yes, of COURSE We had to look up how to spell “Shyamalan”. We are only mere mortals like yourselves. We put Our panties on one leg at a time, every Tuesday. And We strive for grammatical and linguistic perfection as We attempt to ensure that We have crossed every T and dotted every forehead. (Oh, please…like you didn’t see THAT coming?))…what were We talking about? Oh, yes; the pixture. We suspect that the young gentleman therein is merely posed for comic effect; We do not believe in his sign for a moment. Although, to segue back to Our own dinner guest, We do appreciate someone who recognizes puttanesca without being told. (There is a joke in all this somewhere, but We are damned if We can ferret it out. (It strikes Us that that becomes a whole different saying if you change it to “gerbil it out.” Discuss.)):


(Meanwhile, We left things unattended for one day, and some wacky Republiklan goes and apologizes to British Petroleum. What’ll those crazy, zany, madcap folks think up next? So, in honor of that particular travesty, here’s this, which is work-safe. You will want to refresh it a few times: http://joebartonwouldliketoapologize.com/ )


(In still other news, We have Ourselves a jawb tomorrow. We do not, as of this writing, know what time, where, or what scripts We will be performing at said jawb, but We suspect that will all sort itself out shortly. Hi-ho, the glamorous life! (Who you callin’ ho?))


(Our Our-O-Scope.)


You're about to cross paths with someone who'll catch your fancy (Is that a euphemism? Because it sure does SOUND like a euphemism.)


and keep it for a good long time. (Well, or a good, long something-or-another.)


You'll recognize this person immediately by their wit, verbal quickness and -- oh, yes – (Their sign that says “Will fu(k for food”?)


that adoring look in their eyes. (Clearly, this person is deranged.)


Offer a sweet, thoughtful and totally unexpected gesture or token (What about a totally unexpected token gesture? (We would have said “gesture token”, but that just sounds like a made-up German pastry.))


(Look at Us…We are Funny In Tongues.)


to a dear one just because you know they need it. (What about what WE need? (Here’s a hint: it is neither a gesture nor a token.))


Let your instinct be your guide. (Or, let your insides be your stink.)


(What do We want? NONsense! When do We want it? NOUN!)


It's impossible to stop you from trying what you think you need to do, (If you think THAT’S impossible, you should try stopping Us from frying things. (Especially Unidentified Frying Objects. (Insert Godzirra joke here.)))


and even more difficult to talk you out of saying what's on your mind. (It is relatively simple, however, to talk Us INTO saying We’re OUT OF Our minds. (The Royal We makes pluralization complexicated. Not to mention subject-verb agreement. It’s more like subject-verb no-fault divorce.))


Forget trying to stay out of the spotlight, because it's out of the question now. (So wait…We’re trying to stay out of the question? What does that even MEAN?)


Wear sunscreen if you have to -- the glare will be intense. (Mmm-hmm. The future’s so bright, We got to wear shades.)






(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:






http://www.humorscope.com




cowgrass…when you care enough to send the very best)