Nice work you did…you’re gonna go far, kid

Greetings, Exhibiting Recalcitrance Inspires Counterdemonstration---


Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, June 08, 2010 (Sigh. This is the time of year when One generally bounds out of bed first thing in the morning, champing at the bit (whatever the h3ll THAT means) to accomplish things. Which is all well and good, if the things are solitary stupid houseworkesque tasks such as, say, cleaning the toilet bowl, which, once the task is accomplished, results in a clean toilet bowl, and not much else. If, however, the things One is attempting to accomplish are actual real-world forward-moving goal-type things, One will eventually encounter, in the course of trying to accomplish them, that point at which, in order for the task to progress further, Other People have to Do Something. Now, this “Something” may be so simple as answering One’s phone call, but, trust Us, eventually, these Other People will make you stop champing at the bit (if you ever figgered out what the h3ll that meant in the first place) and make you want to go directly back to bed (assuming there aren’t any Other People there). Because Other People move in mysterious ways. (By “move in mysterious ways”, of course, We mean “don’t move at all.”) Sigh.)


(We put “Sigh” at the beginning and end for symmetry. It’s called “sigh-to-sigh symmetry”. It’s the linguistic equivalent of wall-to-wall carpeting. This paragraph, meanwhile, is complete bullsh1t, and exists solely to be much shorter than the preceding one, and, thus, more pleasing to the eye.)


(Hey, a full three-quarters of all y’all who even bothered to open this are only nakedly skimming; we are totally gonna be about style rather than content.)


(In still other news, Happy Johnny Depp’s Birthday Eve.)


(Meanwhile, lest today’s episode be totally devoid of entertainment, We don’t think We have yet shared this with you. It is by the lovely and talented Gregory G0DD@MN! G., whom long-time readers will recall as the love-child of Christian Slater and the late, lamented River Phoenix, and is entitled The Adventures of the Dog Who Can Talk and the Cat Who Is Jealous That the Dog Can Talk and the Cat Cannot Talk. It is work-safe. (It’s a talking dog, fercrissakes. (YouPeople have Mister Ed p0rn fantasies, don’t’cha?)) http://unclesalad.tumblr.com/TalkingDog  )


(Our Our-O-Scope.)


You could be most persuasive with others and eloquent in speech and communication. (Or at least We could if they would, oh, I don’t know, answer Our fu(king phone calls.)


The initiative is yours and you will find positive results will develop from your actions. (Blah-blah-blah, whatevercakes. Meanwhile, the replace-the-façade (We LURRRRVVVVE how Micro$oft Weird™ automatically puts that little Frawnch squiggly thing under the C in “façade”. (By “little Frawnch squiggly thing”, We mean, of course, “clit0ris”. (Everybody who thought they’d never see THAT word in an Eric’s Daily Horoscope now owes Us a dollar. (Str8 bois owe Us TWO dollars.)))) project next door has devolved from a lot of drilling to a lot of pounding to a lot of spickerdoodles arguing with each other. Those poor folk ain’t NEBBER gonna get a face back on they house.)


(We were just about to publish, but We had to come back in and edit to tell you that the spickerdoodles are now SINGING to each other. But not, presumably, Spanish techno.)


This is a day to take risks and dare to be a little unconventional. (Us? Unconvetnional? Quel frommage!)


There are new insights, inventions and an independent point of view. (Okay, that? Sounds like a lotta work.)


Your career could open up by taking the road less traveled, (Kiss Us quick, We’re Robert Frost! (Also, We’re a poet, but We are unaware of it.))


or by daring to be the oddball. (The same thing, oddly enough, could be accomplished by offering to be the hairball. Discuss.)


Growth and success could be tied to your possessions or to the way you respond to the various ideas and impulses operating in your life now. (Alternatively, a lot of random words could be strung together and We could all pretend they formed a coherent sentence.)


This may mean the connection you have with your teachers, partners, hobbies or the competitions that you enter. (Now, see, that particular sentence would be a lot more specific (and a lot more interesting) if it read “your teacher’s partner’s hobbies”.)


Your day ends with the most positive of attitudes. (Well, DUH! It’s easy to be positive when You’re going back to bed.)


(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:






http://www.humorscope.com




the cowgrass goes in before the name goes on)