Everything’s free in America, for a small fee in America

Greetings, Ericson Repudiates Impostor Columbus---

Here is your horoscope for Monday, October 11, 2010  (Oh, my dears!  Happy Columbus Comes Out Day!  (The Nina, the Pinta,  and the Santa Maria…how gay is THAT? (Funny, no?  We cannot, unfortunately, lay claim to that joke, as We heard it on the WorldWideInterWebNetz this morning.  (Actually, We can’t seem to lay much of anything.  Which is why We Our Own Selves Personally won’t be coming out today.  Because, if you don’t believe Us, We’ve got no proof.)))):

(At any rate, here in America at least, We trust all of Our Gentle Readers with jawbs have the day off.  But, if not, We are here to entertain you!

(So here’s this:

(And here’s this:

(And heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Jesus:

))))

(Our-O-Scopes:)

After all this time of making sure you've done the exact right thing at the exact right time, (Oh, sure, NOW you tell Us.)

you're about to discover that you've not only done that (Whoopsie!)

-- you've also inspired others to follow in your capable footsteps. (Is it just Us, or does “capable footsteps” sound like We’re wearing Sensible Shoes?  On National Coming Out Day?  We don’t THINK so, Missy!  We may just put Our Come-Fu(k-Me pumps on and take Ourselves out for a Columbus Comes Out cocktail.  Perhaps We’ll encounter some friendly natives.  And give them syphilis.  Oh, the places We’ll go!)

Enjoy it. (As soon as you tell Us what “it” is.  @sshat.)

It's lovely to be truly appreciated.  (How the hell would We know?)

No one needs to tell you to mete out your energy carefully. (Of course not.  Because who talks like that? “Mete”, indeed.)

You've got that part down pat. (Who is this Pat person, and how soon can We get Our part down him?  (Did that make anyone else think of Pat Paulsen?  G0d, YouPeople are old!))

You might need to be reminded of quitting time, however.   (Also, remember to remind Us about the Alamo.  In case We forget.)

 (Your YOUR-O-Scopes):

http://www.humorscope.com

Cowgrass…it does a body good)