The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

                                         

Greetings, Effort Requires Implicit Commitment---

Here is your horoscope for Thursday, October 28, 2010 (It may not have escaped your notice (although We have no evidence of that fact) that there was no installment of Erix Daily Horoscope yesterday.  That is because it was Hump Day, and We are tired of wishing YouPeople a Happy Hump Day, whereupon you merrily hump away without inviting Us.) :

(Things have been somewhat difficult of late, but they are the sorts of things that are too boring to be bothered complaining about.  Other than the descent in to the abyss of Fall (which We loathe, as it is the harbinger of Winter, which We loathe even more), in terms of The Big Things, everything in the garden is lovely (except, naturally, for the paucity of Big Things, but that, as They say, is Old News).  But the little things…the soufflé, she falls, the inanimate objects, they rebel, the people on telephones lie and do not do their jawbs.  Where, oh where is a handsome prince on a gleaming white steed to bring Us a winning PowerBall™ ticket so We can tell him to go fu(k himself?)

(We just re-read that last paragraph, and noticed that We are waxing particularly poetic this morning.  (Although it is somewhat unclear to Us what that actually means…who the h3ll wants to wax a poet?  One can, of course, imagine pounding Robert Frost, or frosting Ezra Pound, or cumming all over e.e. cummings…but wuzzup wit’ dis “wax” bidness?)

(Heh.  “cumming all over e.e. cummings”…We kill Us.)

(On the plus side (“side” not “size”.  B1tch.), things are not going as badly for Us as they are for Our chicken friends in today’s Erix Daily Horoscope Pixture Du Jour Au Jus Cock-A-Doodle-Doo Any-Cock’ll-Do-Tip-A-Canoe-And-Steven-Tyler’s-Tool.)

 (Our-O-Scopes:)

Heaven help anyone who is under the mistaken impression that they can take you today, regardless of whether the challenge is verbal, physical or intellectual. (Okay, that?  All sounds like a LOT of work.)

If the individual has needed their comeuppance for some time, go ahead and administer it -- but gently.  (Sledgehammer?  Jackhammer?  PleaseHammerDon’tHurt’Em?)

That pounding in your chest isn't just your heart -- it's your heart enjoying a dose of good, old-fashioned and all-natural adrenaline. (Okay, Our heart needs to learn to drink tasteful cocktails like the rest of Us.  (Speaking of which, here’s this, which We have no idea what to do with, but never let it be said that We don’t strive to keep all y’all informed: http://news.discovery.com/human/do-intelligent-people-drink-more-alcohol.html)

Tackle your toughest projects now. (Oh, please.  At this point, getting dressed is a project.)

 There’s quite a sociable day on your agenda, (And a sociable disease on the verandah.)

 thanks to an affable astrological assembly, (Aff THIS, you alliterative @ssmunch.)

unanimously (Which We suddenly imagine meaning “without any animous”.)

intent on making things as easy on you as possible. (And We are nothing if not easy.  “That’s why I’m easy…I’m easy like an Easy-Bake™ oven.” (They just don’t write songs like that anymore.))

If you’ve missed out on any of the good gossip that’s been going around lately, not that you ordinarily indulge in such things, of course, here’s your chance to catch up. (To the best of Our knowledge, We know all the news that’s Freddie Prinze.)

Do keep in mind, however, there’s far more than chatting on the menu: Say, more than just a touch of intense romance, for example? (We have no response to that.  We will, however, point out that it reads much better with a Faux-Frawnch-PePe-LePew accent applied to it.  Go ahead, try it. We’ll wait.)

(See?)

(Your YOUR-O-Scopes):

http://www.humorscope.com

Insert Cowgrass commercial here.)