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Thursday, October 6, 2011

C'mon, get happy



Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s Daily Horoscope for Sloppy Thirds Day, October 6, 2011.  Oh, please. Around here, We’d be lucky to make it to Sloppy Firsts.  Which is making Us think of Sloppy Joes, one of which We have not had since We were a child.  Which is, naturally, making Us wonder, being of an inquiring-mind-type, why exactly they are called “Sloppy Joes” in the first place.  Letting Our pages do the walking through the Yellow Fingers, (there is now a whole generation to whom that joke makes no sense whatsoever.  Sigh.) , We Googled up same on Wikipedia.  While the origin of the name “Sloppy Joes” was not at all clarified by said Googling up, We did learn that the sandwiches in question are also called “Yum Yums”, “Wimpies”, and “Slushburgers” in various parts of These United States.

You’re welcome.  And sorry, Joe.

We are not, of course, the first person to use “Google” as a verb. However, We find Ourselves (all of Us) on the cutting edge of cunning linguistic fashion as We attempt to bring the phrase “Google up” into the vernacular. (As a verb, mind you.  So not so much like “7-Up™; more like “giddyap”.  Although We’ve never been quite sure what “giddying” is.)  Later, We shall be trying to make “fetch” happen.

We should also point out that, next Thursday and Friday, We shall be appearing in public here:  http://www.citypaper.net/agenda/2011-10-06-queer-bait-philly-improv-theater-qcomedy-festival.html   More on this story as it develops.

We are still keeping it simple today, as We know how easily you all are distracted by shiny things. Starzina’s Time Of The Month Horoscope: Libra has arrived (perfection takes TIME, Ducks) and you can either click to watch it here:

 



 or share this link with your friends with Libra birthdays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEd2UNc29Sk

(Parenthtetically (hence the parentheses), parental guidance suggested (no, your parents aren’t in here), have any of you ever passed a Starzina video along to a friend who’s having a birthday?  Say, for example, you had a friend (We were going to be mean, and put the period there, but We’re trying to make a point) who had a birthday today; would it ever occur to you to copy this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEd2UNc29Sk , plunk it down on their SitOnMyFaceBook page, and say “Don’t say I never gave you nuffin’, and many happy returns”?)

We didn’t think so.  WHY NOT?

Random celebrity citation for indexing purposes: Danny Bonaduce.

Meanwhile, Our daughter rose to yesterday’s challenge and mocked Kelli’s horoscope for Us; she put it in the comments section, so We know none of you saw it, so here it is:

You need to show others the way today (as if they'd ever repay Us the favor)

your mental energy helps you see shortcuts and opportunities where others only see confusion (while this sentence is an opportunity to take a shortcut to the land of confusion) 

Make sure that your people are paying attention! (Easier said than done.)

Your mind is ready for inspiration, which it will find in many places today. (Except for in this horoscope.)

So this is a great day to be stimulated, whether by other people or by a situation you put yourself in. (Or by situations We put into others.) 

If you can, you should work in groups today. (We would, but Our personalities don't get along with each other very well.)

Teamwork has always come naturally for you, and the different voices and attitudes will plant all sorts of fantastic ideas in your head. (Again, Our personalities don't get along with each other very well. We told you getting people to pay attention is easier said than done.)

Even if you have one or two differences of opinion, you’ll have a good time coming to a compromise with someone. (When we

Today find like-minded people to spend some quality time with. (We stand alone in Our own-mindedness. And quality time comes with a price that, when divided between Ourselves, comes out to the same amount no matter who shows up.)

You might end up making a new friend that turns into the romance of your life. (Or We might not.)

Broaden your social circle and accept invitations from an unexpected suitor. (We had an unexpected suitor once. He wouldn't even measure Our inseam.)

Here are today’s Kelli-Ass(tromalogical)-Ho(roscopulation)-isms.  Run amok, boyzzz and gurrrlllzz!! (Amok, amok, amok.)

Your leadership skills are much in demand today — so show folks how it’s done! At least one person needs to feel important, too, so make sure they get a role that matches their skills and energy.  It’s always a good idea to plan ahead, but thinking too much about your future could be keeping you from enjoying your present. Take some time today to just goof around — let your mind wander from topic to topic, and let your body wander from place to place today. It’s important to live in the moment and just enjoy where you are when you’re there. When you do that, you’ll be able to notice things you never noticed before. There is beauty all around you — open your eyes and see it!  For the best date ever, plan ahead so every detail is accounted for. When you take time to make the event extra special, that someone special will take notice. Be flexible if things don’t fall in place the way you want.



 (Your YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com)
                            
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Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.