Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Just call me “Angel of the Morning”, Angel.



Hello, Ducks!



Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for  GoodPieRupeeTunesDay, February 12, 2013. Happy Birthday to Greg, who turns twenty-four today.  Also, Happy Fat Tuesday to all of Our Fat Readers.  (Was that a fat joke?  Because it sounded like a fat joke.  (How does One tell the difference between a fat joke and a phat joke?))



You will be pleased to hear that Our headshot and résumé are winging their way to the Vatican for Round One of The Pope Auditions as We speak.  We also sent two audition videos.  It was difficult to narrow it down, as We have so many cinematic efforts to choose from, but We finally settled on this one, which is thematically relevant, because it has an angel in it:




…and this one, because it has an altar boy.  (Well, okay, it’s Justin Bieber.  What’s the matter, you’ve never heard of transubstantiation?)





Speaking of old men in dresses and ruby slippers,  We shall be playing The VD Match Game on Friday and Saturday, February 15 and 16, at 7:30 at L’Etage.  You can obtain tickets here http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/331562 and find more info here
http://www.facebook.com/events/279672565493605/
  Our Sistah Ovella, for those of you who know her, will be playing also.




Here is a little Aquarius fillum, for Our birthday Aquarians:






And here are the HorrorScopes:



Today is, of course, Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  Lincoln was the sixteenth President of the United States, and starred in the recent fillum, Daniel Day-Lewis’s Left Foot, for which he will be winning an Oscar™, so there’s no need to bake him a cake. (Also, don’t buy him theater tickets…he hates that.)  It is also Charles Darwin’s birthday.  Darwin was in the original Planet of the Apes fillum, and also played Samantha’s second husband on Bewitched.
This is not the time for new projects or people — you have to stick with what you know. (Unfortunately, We don’t know much, because We don’t get out much.)



Confusion is rampant, (Ah, so.  That is what Confucius say.)




(What?)



and you may find that your energy starts to improve only after you give up a little.  (Well, if We’re sticking with what We know,a s you said earlier, We have precious little to give up.)



People who like to share their private life issues with the rest of the world are extremely tedious for you, especially right now.  (People who share their privates, on the other hand, are great fun at parties.)



You like to help others as much as the next person,  (Which is to say, not at all.)



but there are more important things that you’d rather pay attention to than who’s going through heartbreak or who’s cheating on whom.   (Well, duh.  It’s not like We’re sitting around writing country western songs.)




So ignore the gossip as much as you can today.  (Sorry…did you say something?)



Airing their dirty laundry might titillate some folks, (Heh.  Kelli said “tit”.)



but it is only going to annoy you today.  (Oh, please.  Our laundry is done, gurrrlllll.  Also, We ran the dishwasher last night.  If cleanliness is next to godliness, it is pretty goddamn godly up in here, folks.  We are all kinds of ready to be Pope.  Get that angel in here in his thong, and lettuce look up Justin Bieber’s ass to see if his hat’s on straight.)



You may be ready to march up (In these shoes?!?)



and tell that one crush of yours how hot they are,  (Like they don’t already know.  Bitch, please.)



but a lower-key approach gets better results now.  (And We are nothing if not low-key.  Well, low something.)


A simple question can work wonders! (What the fuck is that supposed to mean?)



(Heh.  See what We did there?)



(Your Your-O-Scopes:


(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!).  For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here:  http://agskylab.blogspot.com/.  Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons.  Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)

*****************************************************************************

Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.
                                                                                                                                    

34 comments:

  1. When you become Pope, may I please be made the Arch Bishop of France and live in a castle in Paris? Please?

    ReplyDelete
  2. We shall make you Arc de Triomphe Bishop of France, and you may live anywhere you please. Because that's just the kind of Holy Father We are.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I want to live in the castle near Rome that is only second in size to Vatican city. That's where they used to put the child molesters.

    I'm surprised you know as much as you do about the Oscars this year. I've always known you to not follow it... at least since the mid-90s.

    If there is any movie you'd like to see, let me know. I've got screeners for all of them. This year, I can tell you who is going to win every category and, in each of them, the winner didn't give the best performance of all five nominees. It's fine to do that when you're making up for past mistakes, as in the case of Anne Hathaway, who does NOT deserve an Oscar for THIS movie. But giving an Oscar to some Irishman who already has two is crazy when there are two other performers who deserve it much more. (And I'd even suggest that a third, Bradley Cooper, might be more deserving.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love reading a post that can make people think. Also, thanks for allowing for me to
    comment!

    Look at my homepage :: jennyobrien.net

    ReplyDelete
  5. When I originally commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment
    is added I recieve four emails with the exact
    same comment. Is there an easy method you are able to remove
    me from that service? Thanks!

    My weblog: http://www.weeklyvolcano.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. For the reason that the admin of this site is working, no question very quickly it
    will be well-known, due to its feature contents.


    Also visit my web site tbings21.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the superb work!

    Stop by my web page :: http://Www.Plurk.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Have you ever considered about including a little bit more than just your articles?

    I mean, what you say is fundamental and all. However think about if you
    added some great pictures or video clips to give your posts
    more, "pop"! Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this site could certainly be one of the greatest in its niche.
    Superb blog!

    Also visit my site; workouts To increase vertical

    ReplyDelete
  9. Greetings from Los angeles! I'm bored at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I love the knowledge you present here and can't wait to take a look when I get home.

    I'm amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile .. I'm not even
    using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, great blog!


    Take a look at my site; lesbians kissing

    ReplyDelete
  10. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism
    or copyright violation? My website has a lot of unique content I've either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help prevent content from being stolen? I'd
    truly appreciate it.

    Here is my blog post ... http://www.cavegoat.com/user/travel-here-what-you-must-know

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building visitors, due to it's nice articles or reviews

    Here is my web-site exercises to increase vertical leap

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi my friend! I want to say that this article is amazing, great written and include approximately all vital infos.
    I'd like to peer extra posts like this .

    My website; vertical leap exercises

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's going to be finish of mine day, but before finish I am reading this enormous article to improve my knowledge.

    Review my site; thespellblog.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment but after I
    clicked submit my comment didn't appear. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all that over again.

    Anyways, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

    my homepage Workouts To Improve Vertical Leap

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am no longer sure the place you're getting your info, but great topic. I needs to spend some time studying much more or figuring out more. Thank you for wonderful info I was in search of this info for my mission.

    Here is my blog; exercises to jump higher

    ReplyDelete
  16. Does your blog have a contact page? I'm having trouble locating it but, I'd like to send you an email.
    I've got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it improve over time.

    my webpage exercises to increase vertical

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the
    pictures on this blog loading? I'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


    My page :: exercises to jump higher

    ReplyDelete
  18. You really make it seem really easy with your presentation
    but I in finding this matter to be really something that I
    think I would never understand. It kind of feels too complicated and very huge for me.
    I am looking forward for your subsequent put up, I'll attempt to get the dangle of it!

    Also visit my blog - tucker georgia

    ReplyDelete
  19. Excellent post. Keep posting such kind of info on your blog.
    Im really impressed by it.
    Hey there, You have performed an incredible job.
    I will certainly digg it and in my opinion suggest to my
    friends. I am confident they'll be benefited from this site.

    my web-site :: Demo.phpfoxturkey.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi there, this weekend is nice designed for me, as this occasion i
    am reading this enormous informative piece of writing here at my residence.


    Feel free to visit my webpage :: workouts to improve vertical

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a leisure account it.
    Look complex to far delivered agreeable from you!
    By the way, how could we be in contact?

    Here is my blog: workouts for vertical jump

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading?
    I'm trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
    Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

    My page - dunk a basketball

    ReplyDelete
  23. Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this board and I
    to find It really useful & it helped me out a lot.
    I hope to present something again and help others
    like you aided me.

    Here is my web site: cheap vacation getaways

    ReplyDelete
  24. What's Going down i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I've
    discovered It absolutely helpful and it has helped
    me out loads. I'm hoping to give a contribution & assist other customers like its aided me. Good job.

    Check out my page - exercises to jump higher

    ReplyDelete
  25. whoah this weblog is excellent i like studying your articles.
    Stay up the great work! You understand, a lot
    of people are looking round for this info, you could aid them greatly.


    Feel free to surf to my webpage ... workouts to jump higher

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hurrah! Finally I got a web site from where I be capable of really get valuable facts regarding my study and knowledge.


    Feel free to surf to my webpage; workouts for vertical jump

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo
    News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Many thanks

    Visit my website: exercises to improve vertical jump

    ReplyDelete
  28. That is very interesting, You are an overly professional blogger.
    I have joined your feed and stay up for seeking extra of your
    great post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks

    Also visit my web page: http://Chemistrybeast.com/learn/user/profile.php?id=8930

    ReplyDelete
  29. Link exchange is nothing else except it is only placing the other person's website link on your page at proper place and other person will also do similar for you.

    my page; vertical leap exercises

    ReplyDelete
  30. You are so cool! I do not think I've truly read anything like this before. So great to discover someone with a few original thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!

    Also visit my blog - http://demo.phpfoxturkey.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. Post writing is also a excitement, if you be familiar with then you can write or else
    it is difficult to write.

    Also visit my site :: workouts for vertical

    ReplyDelete
  32. I got this website from my buddy who told me about this site and at the moment this time I am browsing this web site and reading very informative articles at this time.



    Also visit my webpage; Exercises To Increase Vertical Jump

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It in truth used to be a entertainment account it.

    Glance complex to more introduced agreeable from you! By the way,
    how can we keep up a correspondence?

    Here is my web blog; vanastree.Org

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hello to every body, it's my first visit of this website; this weblog consists of remarkable and really excellent data in favor of visitors.

    Feel free to visit my webpage: exercises to increase vertical leap

    ReplyDelete