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Thursday, September 4, 2014

If you liked it then you should have put your thing in it

Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for Friday’s Eve (for that “not-so-fresh” feeling),  September Fourst, 2014.

Our mood is vastly improved since yesterday’s screed.

Thanks for asking.

Happy Birthday to Rick, who turns twenty-four today, somewhere in New Jersey.

Happy Birthday also to Miriam, who also turns twenty-four today, somewhere in Virginia.  Vienna, to be exact.  (Which, One now muses, should really be NEW Vienna, no?  After all, it’s NEW Jersey.  And NEW York.  And NEW Rochelle.  (Although it is completely unclear to Us where OLD Rochelle is.  (What were We talking about again?)))

And Happy Birthday also too to Derick, who doesn’t EVEN turn twenty-four today.  (Which would seem to mean he is in rehearsal for twenty-four.  A concept We had not previously contemplated, but which pleases Us very much.)

In other news, warm kisses on your opening to everybody at Two Street, which opens tonight.  Tickets are about to be very hard to come by, so grab the last few remaining here:  (Here is an article about the show, which is one of the reasons why it’s on the verge of selling out: )

And don’t forget to come kiss Us on Our Own Personal opening, tomorrow night at L’Etage:


Speaking of naked people (howZZAT for a segue?), here is a flashback to Our FIRST Virgo video, the one with the naked angel:

In other other news, We have Our schedule at the Murder Mystery Factory for September.  We will be performing on Friday, September 12 and Friday, September 26.  If you are interested in seeing Us perform in same, holla at Us.  (For those naked skimmers who may not be aware, We have been promoted to A Position Of Power at the Factory, and so will be performing somewhat less.)

And heeeeerrrre’s the HorrorScope:

Every other gay blogger will be telling you that it is Beyoncé’s birthday.  We are here to tell you that Dick York, the original Darren on Bewitched, was born today. Clearly, We should take the rest of the day off…

Namaste, MotherFuckers.

In gaseousness,

Starzina Starfish-Browne

(Your Your-O-Scopes:

 (Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!).  For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here:  Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons.  Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)


Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.