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Thursday, December 25, 2014

Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for Friday’s Eve (for that “not-so-fresh” feeling) ,  December TwennyFivest, 2014.

Happy Christmas to all of Our Christmassian Gentle Readers.  We hope that all of your stockings are well hung by the chimney by Cher, in hopes that Jack Nicklaus remembers to Nair™.  Here in The Hinterlands, We are endeavoring to put the Chris back in Christmas, although We are having trouble deciding between Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt.

Here is the link with which you may share that Capricorn video with both of your friends:

And here, for your further edification, is Our very first Capricorn video:

Upon reflection, these two videos are amongst Our much more densely-plotted cinematic efforts, due to the fact that Our director actually is a Capricorn (although quite unlike the unseen character from the videos).

We often ponder, in the endless time afforded to Us by the fact that We are almost universally ignored, how many of Our Gentle Readers actually realize that, if viewed in order, Our videos actually have ongoing plots and storylines.  Then, of course, We realize that Our Gentle Readers are all imaginary, and we curl up into the fetal position…

In other news, here is the e-pissode from last Christmas season that everybody seems (according to Our Google-O-Meter™)  to be revisiting all of a sudden:   Enjoy!

On a positive note, check out Our Best Of Holidailies™ Award  here:  

and go to the e-ntry directly here:  

Moving on some more, didja know that We have been e-pisstling e-pissodes of these e-pisstles in one form or another since 2001?  And that the earliest dead-tree archival records from 2004 are now TEN YEARS OLD, and can be found (for a small fee) here: ? 

Thank Gawd We didn’t stray from the point.


In celebrity birthday news, Rod Serling was born on Christmas.  How weird izzat?  (See what We did there?)

Greetings Starzina ~

It's nice to have you back. Welcome to Madame Olivia.

It is clear to Madame Olivia that we would all do well to simplify, simplify! Studies show that the fewer possessions we have to worry about, the happier we are. Easier said than done, but a useful guide when you're debating about a nonessential purchase and a helpful push toward getting rid of stuff. A bit of weekly weeding is a personal goal of Madame Olivia's. Just a thought.

Is Madame Olivia right, dear Aries, that people are surprised to learn you are in fact an Aries? It's such a powerful sign and yet you go through life with humility. Madame Olivia doesn't want to tamper with this beautiful quality but right now you should feel free to impose your will on others. Your ultimate goal, after all, is to insure the greatest good for all concerned. Don't let modesty or fear get in your way.

Word of the hour for you: imagine

Godspeed and good wishes from Madame Olivia until next time.

For your next reading, look for an email invitation in a few days from the very busy Madame Olivia!
(Who wants cake?)       

Namaste, MotherFuckers.

In gaseousness,

Starzina Starfish-Browne
 (Your Your-O-Scopes:

 (Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!).  For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here:  Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons.  Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.