Hello, Ducks!
Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your
Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for Thanksgiving Eve, November 27rd,
2013. We just dropped in (to see what
condition Our condition was in (Gawd, We’re old (as are you, if you recognized
that lyric)) to wish everyone Happy Turkey, share this picture of Our Aunt B
cooking Our Thanksgiving dinner, and Picture Bryan’s Birthday Suit.
Meanwhile, may We please
tell you (mais oui) that Bryan still has no idea that all last week was
Picturing Bryan’s Birthday Suit Week?
Whatever has happened to these children’s social media addictions?
Speaking of this past
weekend, We moved into Sagittarius during it, which means that We are once
again sharing with you Our very most favoritest Starzina’s Time of the Month
Horoscope video with you (see
above). Here is the link with which you
may share it with others: http://youtu.be/6f1m5GLfk1Y You’re welcome.
And here’s the HorrorScope:
Happy
Jaleel White’s birthday.
We
offer today’s HorrorScope sans callbacks.
Feel free to add your own.
You
need to show someone how useful you can be — so volunteer to help out or show
off your previous work. Things are looking good as long as you are focusing
your energy outward. Today it’s a great
day to have a good time while you’re getting things done. If you add some
flirtation and some flattery to critical conversations, you will be amazed at
the results. You are surrounded by people who are very fun-loving, right now,
and they could even teach you a thing or two about how to have a good time.
Your social circle is widening right now, and while you might experience some
growing pains, you will love where it all takes you. Instead of immediately trying to critically
assess that new person, try to give them some time to fully exhibit their many
fine qualities. What seems freaky at first could become quite endearing.
Namaste,
MotherFuckers.
In gaseousness,
Starzina Starfish-Browne
(Your Your-O-Scopes:
(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but
better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!). For
real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good
friend AstroGeek here: http://sett.com/astrogeek895/. Our
Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better
by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own
lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets,
planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam,
jetsam, and Jetsons. Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
*****************************************************************************
Starzina
Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not
really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician
and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her
humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show
and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this
unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course,
an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera
Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her
doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality.
There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has
Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on
the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian
helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her
daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she
enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the
coxswain of the Penn rowing team.
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