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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Over Joan Rivers and through the woods

Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for Thanksgiving Eve, November 27rd, 2013.   We just dropped in (to see what condition Our condition was in (Gawd, We’re old (as are you, if you recognized that lyric)) to wish everyone Happy Turkey, share this picture of Our Aunt B cooking Our Thanksgiving dinner, and Picture Bryan’s Birthday Suit.

Meanwhile, may We please tell you (mais oui) that Bryan still has no idea that all last week was Picturing Bryan’s Birthday Suit Week?  Whatever has happened to these children’s social media addictions?

Speaking of this past weekend, We moved into Sagittarius during it, which means that We are once again sharing with you Our very most favoritest Starzina’s Time of the Month Horoscope  video with you (see above).  Here is the link with which you may share it with others:  You’re welcome.

And here’s the HorrorScope:

Happy Jaleel White’s birthday.

We offer today’s HorrorScope sans callbacks.  Feel free to add your own.

You need to show someone how useful you can be — so volunteer to help out or show off your previous work. Things are looking good as long as you are focusing your energy outward.   Today it’s a great day to have a good time while you’re getting things done. If you add some flirtation and some flattery to critical conversations, you will be amazed at the results. You are surrounded by people who are very fun-loving, right now, and they could even teach you a thing or two about how to have a good time. Your social circle is widening right now, and while you might experience some growing pains, you will love where it all takes you.  Instead of immediately trying to critically assess that new person, try to give them some time to fully exhibit their many fine qualities. What seems freaky at first could become quite endearing.

Namaste, MotherFuckers.

In gaseousness,

Starzina Starfish-Browne

(Your Your-O-Scopes:

(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!).  For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here:  Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons.  Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)


Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.