And the silicon chip inside her head is stuck on overload

Greetings, Echo Repeats Infinite Cantata---


Here is your horoscope for Monday, July 19, 2010 (Happy Monday to all of Our Mondayers who are out there Mondaying. Here’s hoping you don’t keep on Mondaying when Tuesday rolls around. We Our Own Selves Personally had quite a jam-packed, fun-filled weekend, complete with a JAWB, watching the last season of Nip/Tuck, and rehearsing for Christmas In July: Another Surprise Birthday Party For Jesus which is playing on Sunday, July 25th at 7PM at World Café Live and on Wednesday and Thursday, July 28th and 29th at 8PM at L’Etage. On Saturday, after Our jawb, instead of studying Our script We watched the DVD of the show from December. That there is some funny sh1t, as We say in the business. You can get tickets here: http://tickets.worldcafelive.com/eventperformances.asp?evt=3635or here: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/117814. If you haven’t gotten them already. And you haven’t. We KNOW. We see you when you’re sleeping, We know when you’re awake, We know who you’ve been sleeping with, so close the drapes for goodness sake.)


(Meanwhile, Our video is not exactly setting the world on fire, virally speaking. We blame YOU.)





)


(Our Our-O-Scope)


Whether or not you intend it, you'll be doing an awful lot of chatting about yourself for the time being. (Oh? We are going to talk about Ourself TO Ourself? Are We trying to bore Ourself to sleep? (Lissen, Micro$oft Weird™, no matter how many times you try to tell Us that “Ourself” isn’t a word, We are going to continue to use it. (Although now that We’ve typed “Ourself” all those times in a row, it’s starting to look more and more like a Muslim middle name.)))


That doesn't mean you're self-centered, egotistical or inordinately wrapped up in your own affairs. (No, it means We’ve finally lost the last shred of what used to pass for Our teeny, tiny mind.)


(Wait…We’re having affairs? More than one?!? We hope We wrote Ali-Ourself Mahmoud a note…)


And if someone doesn't believe it -- well, all they'll have to do is ask you... (That would imply that they are speaking to Us. Unlike, say, the person We saw on the street this weekend who literally ducked into a doorway when he saw Us coming. What did We ever do to YOU, PussyBoy?)


Before you hop on a plane for Vegas in search of the first available chapel you two come across, wait. (No, see…Britney Spears can get married in Vegas, by an Elvis impersonator, and then get divorced the next day. But We? Can’t so much get married in Vegas. Because that would fu(k up the sanctity of marriage.)


Your ordinarily astounding memory has suddenly failed you. (We were going to mention that that had happened, but We forgot.)


All you can remember now is how great things were -- In The Old Days. (These ARE The Old Days. They are days, and We are old. Have a prune roll, Mister Goldstone.)


It's time to move on. (Up? To the East Side? To a DEE-luxe apartment in the sky?)


Forget about bees and honey. (Why the h3ll were We supposed to be thinking about bees and honey in the first place?)


Remember that the nicer -- or, at least, more pleasantly civil -- you are, the easier it is to make them see things your way. (Also, walk softly and carry a big d1ck.)


Any questions? (Yes… how can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go round? How can you mend this broken man? How can a loser ever win? (Oh, is that stuck in your head now? Too bad, so sad, @nal s3x with your dad.))


(Your YOUR-O-Scopes):






http://www.humorscope.com




cowgrass…I’m lovin’ it)