Could fry an egg on the cement, it’s so caliente

Greetings, Effective Rasping Improves Complexion---


Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, July 07, 2010 (We would say “Happy Hump Day”, but, Monday having been a holiday, this is A Week Without A Hump. (Like We would know the difference.) But Happy Birthday to Tracie, who turns twenty-four today.):


(Today’s Eric’s Daily Horoscope Pixture Du Jour Au Jus Flambé Jose Simone Signoret is Our subtle reminder to all y’all to kwitcherbitchin, because, no matter how hot it gets, you don’t have to fu(king shovel it.)


(And now, a little musical entertainment to brighten your spirits with regard to the weather. It is work-safe (it’s from Sesame Street, fercrissakes. And Bert and Ernie aren’t even in it.):


)


(Our Our-O-Scope)


You're ready to compromise, cooperate and negotiate, (You left out m@sturbate.)


under even the most bizarre or difficult of circumstances as long as things work out well for all parties concerned. (Wait…there’s a party?)


(Speaking of parties, (A.) We forgot to give you your daily affirmation http://dailydragqueenaffirmations.com/affirmation  and (2.) We trust that you have already purchased your tickets to Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives at QFest. This, of course, is the fillum starring the lovely and talented Willam Belli, and, if you have been remiss in obtaining tickets to same, you can do so here: http://www.qfest.com/film-details.cfm?c=240&id=9536  )


Just be sure that everyone else who's involved is feeling equally benevolent before you sign on the dotted line. (See, We’re pretty sure that’s where We made Our mistake…WE signed on the slotted spoon.)


Someone who loves you to pieces will be oh-so-eager to prove it to you. (Mmm-hmm. We’re just gonna hold Our breath and wait for THAT to happen. Of course, We hope this guy who loves Us to pieces realizes he’s gonna hafta fight his way through all the people who love Us IN pieces.)


Your mission, should you bravely choose to accept it, is to let them. (This horoscope will self-destruct in five seconds.)


Right now, everything you touch will turn to gold. (And THEN self-destruct in five seconds.)


Well, everything except the things you want to stay just the way they are. (Kinda like the way Billy Joel turned into an old, bald, Jewish guy.)


Work, or anything that remotely resembles it, will not be fun for you now -- and you'll probably do what it takes to minimize its intrusion on your social life. (Well, We would tell you the most recent thing We’ve done about that, but then We’d have to kill you.)


(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:






http://www.humorscope.com




cowgrass…that was easy)