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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Come, they told me… so I did.

Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne, back again, Ducks, just when you thought you were rid of Us until you were knee-deep in turkey hash.  (Mmmm….hash.)  But at the last minute, Our rehearsal was called on account of rain (because apparently sketch comedy and baseball are the same thing…who knew?), and We felt compelled to come by and bid you one last adieu , reshare Starzina’s Time of the Month Horoscope: Sagittarius video with you, and impart a few nuggets of information.

(Micro$oft Word™ appears not to believe in “reshare”.  Share me once, Cher on you; Cher me twice, Charlize Theron.)

No.  We have no idea whatsoever.

Here is the link with which you can share Starzina’s wit and wisdom with the world.  Wankers.

And now, for the information We promised:

Our Christmas tree has been erected, and all of its lights work.  (It is not yet decorated, mind you.)

We have a goodly number of Christmas presents wrapped and ready for transport. (We will admit that We are further behind than  We usually are at this point in time, but We have never been a WorldWideInterWebNetzian Vlog Star before.)

Also, We have Our Christmas card address list edited, and Our labels printed.

Don’t hate Us because We’re beautiful.  Hate Us because We are a well-oiled holiday machine.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Starzina Starfish-Browne

 (Your YOUR-O-Scopes:
Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.