Greetings, Extemporaneous Riposte Incapacitates Chatroom---
(Okay, Micro$oft Weird™…so “chatroom” isn’t a word, but “buttonhook” and “petticoat” are? Methinks thy dictionary be inscribethed upon parchment paper by quill pen. (The proof of said pudding being the fact that you also don’t recognize “spellcheck”. (Although you DO accept “spellchecked” and “spellchecker”. So maybe you’re just a flighty b1tch. Eat Us, AND Our pudding.)))
(Consider this the “Chubby Checker” joke that We couldn’t fit into that last paragraph.)
(In Our never-ending efforts to enlighten and amuse you, We have attempted to upload another video today, after yesterday’s Abraham Lincoln fiasco. (Abraham Lincoln Fiasco being, of course, what many newly-freed slaves would have named their babies if the Civil War had (subjunctively) taken place in Southern Italy. (Our political incorrectnesses…let Us show them to you. (We trust you will not be surprised to learn that Micro$oft Weird™ doesn’t believe in “incorrectnesses”. Stick around, Micro$oft Weird™…We’re just getting warmed up.))) Today’s video uploaded just fine, so there must have been something wrong with the Abraham Lincoln video. (It emails just fine, however, so ask Us if you’re interested and perhaps We shall email it to you.) Today’s video will be of particular interest to any of all y’all who were wondering, as We were, what Barry Williams is doing for work these days. (Barry Williams being, of course, the thespian who created the seminal (heh) 70s television teen, Greg Brady. If you didn’t already know that, please watch the following movie trailer anyway. It is work safe (well, okay, he does say “d@mn”) and indescribably enlightening.)
Here is your horoscope for Friday, April 09, 2010 (Happy Friday, to those of you who care about such things. Our malady from yesterday has been clearly proven to be the result of allergies, as it has all but disappeared since the rain cleansed the air of pollen. So We have yet another scourge to annoy Us in Our dotage. Lovely.):
(Our Our-O-Scope.)
Everything will seem to make perfect sense, but that may not be the case. (Gee…ya think?)
If you're about to sign something, (Remember that Helen Keller is blind as well as deaf, so what’s the point?)
ask an impartial third party for a thorough review first. (Okay, or that.)
It's not that you won't be on your toes, but that your toes may not be touching the ground. (Well, not if they’re behind Our ears.)
All systems are go -- physically, that is. (Well, if they all go at the same time, there’re gonna be issues. Especially with Our toes behind Our ears.)
But your mental and emotional health (Say whut?)
are just as important as your blood pressure. (And yet, if you wrap a sphygmomanometer around your head, it doesn’t tell you anything. (Sound it out, boyzzz and gurrlllzz; We’ll wait.))
A day off with the shades drawn couldn't hurt. (What an excellent idea! We think We shall take the day off! (Oh, wait…))
Something is definitely brewing, (With Our luck, it’s tea.)
and although you can't quite put your finger on what it might be, (Honey, We haven’t put Our finger on anything in YEARS.)
you'd be willing to put money on it. (If We had any.)
Use that instinct. (Our instincts are largely extinct. In general, they stink, We think, and are not in the pink. Also, the reigning Dane flies mainly on de plane, Boss, de plane! Who’s on top tonight, Boss? (Because there’s ALWAYS time for a little (heh) Hervé Villechaize joke.))
(Okay, We’re outtie. Happy weekend!)
(Your YOUR-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com
cowgrass…when it absolutely, positively has to get there overnight)
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