Hello, Ducks!
Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your
Eric’s Daily Horoscope for FryDaddyDay, November 16, 2012. Happy Belated Birthday to Becky, who turned
twenty-four yesterday in A Carolina.
Also, Happy Belated Birthday to Kari, who turned twenty-four yesterday
in O Canada. (It occurs to Us just this very minute that an optimistic person
would say that it’s not so much belated birthday wishes as it is very early
advance birthday wishes for next year.)
Optimistic people are idiots.
In completely random news, SitOnMyFaceBook is
suggesting that We should be friends with Jefferson Davis. Yes, THAT Jefferson Davis. We are not making
this up.
Meanwhile, other than having gotten up way
too early this morning, Our Most Excellent Week is continuing to be Most
Excellent. As We already mentioned, it
started with the filming of a new e-pissode of Starzina’s Time of the Month Horoscopes
on Sunday, which We cannot wait for you to see.
Although it would seem We shall have to, as We have just discovered that
Sagittarius begins this year on Turkey Day, and We shall be too busy shoveling food
into Our piehole to get anywhere near a computer. So you shall simply have to quiver with
antici---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------pation.
On Wednesday, We had Our reading of Our
murder mystery script, which was very successful. We had dinner beforehand at Café Nola, which
may prompt Us to sell OurHouseWhereWeLive and move in there. Following the reading, We played this: http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/
because We are hip and hep and hot and happenin’. Or at least Our friends are.
In between these two tentpole events, We had
several lovely dinners with several lovely people. Occasionally, it is very cool to be Us.
*************************************************************************************
Here is the link with which you would share
Our Time
of the Month Horoscope: Scorpio video with your friends, if you were
(subjunctively) so inclined. Like the
plane. http://youtu.be/UiJLA4MRNNg .
Enjoy!
Speaking
of complete non sequiturs (as opposed, presumably, to the incomplete kind), here
is last year’s Scorpio video to compare with this year’s (see above):
Here’s
the HorrorScope:
It
is George S. Kaufman’s birthday. As he
is dead, he presumably did not take it with him.
Theatre
jokes. Because We are gay. And a nerd.
Gaynerd G. Krebs, that’s We.
It’s
a great time to explore (It may or may not, however, be a grand night for
singing.)
(Sorry
to have disappointed everyone who expected a Dora the Explorer joke there. But We?
Are unpredictable. Also
unpostdictable. We haven’t been dict in
a really long time.)
—
your energy is powering up your curiosity, (Which, of course, killed the
pussy.)
and
the day is full of great surprises. (Won’t
YOU be surprised, when We show you Our dead pussy!)
Things
are looking up for you and your people, (That would be a lyric from the Up With People sequel, Up The People’s Pussies.)
and
it’s hard not to have fun tonight! (It
is child’s play, however, not to have Chicken Tonight™, Chicken Tonight™. (Especially if you go to a Chinese
restaurant. Because then, it won’t be
chicken, it’ll be--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------pussy.))
(Oddly
enough, We appear to have stumbled into The Vat Of Vulgarity. And that almost NEVER happens.)
Foreign
ideas and influences can have a very constructive impact on your life right
now, so do not fear them. (Apropos of nothing, isn’t it odd that a socialist
and a socialite aren’t at all the same thing?)
Instead,
reach out today (And touch someone?)
and
explore different cultures in any way that makes you feel most comfortable. (How ‘bout We go outside and find Ourself an
Eye-tyalian boy?)
Whether you simply listen to a foreign music
radio station for a few miles, check out a restaurant that serves authentic
ethnic food, or shop in a store that specializes in items from a different part
of the world, you need to do something to broaden your ideas about
culture. (Apparently, you have not seen
what is growing in the vegetable drawer in Our refrigerator.)
Set
out to have a solo adventure, (That’s a euphemism, right?)
and
you never know who you might meet. (We do know, however, who We will NOT
meet. George S. Kaufman, for
example. And Jefferson Davis.)
Go
to a place where like-minded individuals can be found — a cool cafe, an art
gallery, your favorite gourmet shop — and shop around. (Is it wrong to think We should open a
gourmet shop and call it Eydie Gourmet?)
(Oh,
shut up.)
(Your
Your-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com)
(Meanwhile, why
We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than
necking, as they say (and how right they are!). For real live actual ass(tromlaogical)
ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here: http://agskylab.blogspot.com/. Our Own
epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by
comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own
lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets,
planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam,
jetsam, and Jetsons. Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
*****************************************************************************
Starzina
Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not
really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician
and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her
humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show
and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this
unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course,
an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera
Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her
doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality.
There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has
Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on
the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian
helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her
daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she
enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the
coxswain of the Penn rowing team.
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