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Friday, November 16, 2012

Blame it on the bossa nova

Hello, Ducks!

Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s Daily Horoscope for FryDaddyDay, November 16, 2012.   Happy Belated Birthday to Becky, who turned twenty-four yesterday in A Carolina.  Also, Happy Belated Birthday to Kari, who turned twenty-four yesterday in O Canada. (It occurs to Us just this very minute that an optimistic person would say that it’s not so much belated birthday wishes as it is very early advance birthday wishes for next year.)

Optimistic people are idiots.

In completely random news, SitOnMyFaceBook is suggesting that We should be friends with Jefferson Davis.  Yes, THAT Jefferson Davis. We are not making this up.

Meanwhile, other than having gotten up way too early this morning, Our Most Excellent Week is continuing to be Most Excellent.  As We already mentioned, it started with the filming of a new e-pissode of Starzina’s Time of the Month Horoscopes on Sunday, which We cannot wait for you to see.  Although it would seem We shall have to, as We have just discovered that Sagittarius begins this year on Turkey Day, and We shall be too busy shoveling food into Our piehole to get anywhere near a computer.  So you shall simply have to quiver with antici---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------pation.

On Wednesday, We had Our reading of Our murder mystery script, which was very successful.  We had dinner beforehand at Café Nola, which may prompt Us to sell OurHouseWhereWeLive and move in there.  Following the reading, We played this: because We are hip and hep and hot and happenin’.  Or at least Our friends are.

In between these two tentpole events, We had several lovely dinners with several lovely people.  Occasionally, it is very cool to be Us.

Here is the link with which you would share Our Time of the Month Horoscope: Scorpio video with your friends, if you were (subjunctively) so inclined.  Like the plane. .  Enjoy!

Speaking of complete non sequiturs (as opposed, presumably, to the incomplete kind), here is last year’s Scorpio video to compare with this year’s (see above):

Here’s the HorrorScope:

It is George S. Kaufman’s birthday.  As he is dead, he presumably did not take it with him. 

Theatre jokes.  Because We are gay.  And a nerd.  Gaynerd G. Krebs, that’s We.

It’s a great time to explore (It may or may not, however, be a grand night for singing.)

(Sorry to have disappointed everyone who expected a Dora the Explorer joke there.  But We?  Are unpredictable.  Also unpostdictable.  We haven’t been dict in a really long time.)

— your energy is powering up your curiosity, (Which, of course, killed the pussy.)

and the day is full of great surprises.  (Won’t YOU be surprised, when We show you Our dead pussy!)

Things are looking up for you and your people, (That would be a lyric from the Up With People sequel, Up The People’s Pussies.)

and it’s hard not to have fun tonight!  (It is child’s play, however, not to have Chicken Tonight™, Chicken Tonight™.  (Especially if you go to a Chinese restaurant.  Because then, it won’t be chicken, it’ll be--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------pussy.))

(Oddly enough, We appear to have stumbled into The Vat Of Vulgarity.  And that almost NEVER happens.)

Foreign ideas and influences can have a very constructive impact on your life right now, so do not fear them. (Apropos of nothing, isn’t it odd that a socialist and a socialite aren’t at all the same thing?)

Instead, reach out today (And touch someone?)

and explore different cultures in any way that makes you feel most comfortable.  (How ‘bout We go outside and find Ourself an Eye-tyalian boy?)

 Whether you simply listen to a foreign music radio station for a few miles, check out a restaurant that serves authentic ethnic food, or shop in a store that specializes in items from a different part of the world, you need to do something to broaden your ideas about culture.  (Apparently, you have not seen what is growing in the vegetable drawer in Our refrigerator.)

Set out to have a solo adventure, (That’s a euphemism, right?)

and you never know who you might meet. (We do know, however, who We will NOT meet.  George S. Kaufman, for example.  And Jefferson Davis.)

Go to a place where like-minded individuals can be found — a cool cafe, an art gallery, your favorite gourmet shop — and shop around.  (Is it wrong to think We should open a gourmet shop and call it Eydie Gourmet?)

(Oh, shut up.)


(Your Your-O-Scopes:


(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!).  For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here:  Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons.  Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)


Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.