Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s Daily Horoscope for SundayFunday, November 25, 2012. We must be off shortly to trim Our tree (no, that is not a euphemism), but We just had to drop by after Our Turkey Day hiatus (to say nothing of Our hiatal hernia (no, really…say NOTHING)) to share Our latest autistic…er, artistic endeavor, Starzina’s Time of the Month Horoscope: Sagittarius 2012. Which see, above.
Also, here is the link with which YOU will share it with all your friends:
In keeping with today’s Frawnch theme, We now return you to your regularly scheduled Gaspard Ulliel birthday celebrations, already in progress. (Seriously…Google him on Wikipedia…ROWWWRRRR!!!)
Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.