Starzina Starfish-Browne here with your Eric’s! Daily! Horoscope! for Friday’s Eve (for that “not-so-fresh” feeling), October Sixteenst, 2014.
Happy Birthday to Kayla, who does not EVEN turn twenty-four today right here in The City That Loves You (On Your) back.
Okay, so, if you are on Twatter, and you like musical theatre, you totally need to be following @ . He is currently twatting a series of #RejectedPeanutsSpecials:
Have A Little Priest, Charlie Brown
There Are Worse Things Than Posing For A Picture On A Sunday, Charlie Brown
No One Has Ever Loved You, Charlie Brown
If you prefer your Eric’s!Daily!Horoscope! linkouts with a little more content/food for thought, check out Terry of Tribe of Fools blog, What Bros Knows. This particular entry is relevant to an experience We shared with all y’all last winter. It is Safe For Work (unless you read aloud when you read (you motherfuckers think We fucking swear a lot…)) Go here:
In other news, We had yet another epic dream last night. We were watching a magic show, in which an audience member was strapped into a chair and wheeled into a tent. When they came out the other side, they were in an entirely different outfit and had no idea how it had happened.
Then it was Our turn to be the audience participant. We were strapped into the chair and wheeled into the tent. When We came out the other side, We were in a completely different outfit (including shoes) and had no idea how it had happened. Also, the contents of Our pockets were in the new outfit.
We never saw who the magician was, but in a totally random fit of random randomosity, the magician’s assistant was Our friend Jill. (Hi, Jill! We have no idea why you were the magician’s assistant in Our dream, but you will be delighted to learn that you were wearing regular clothing, and NOT a typical magician’s assistant outfit.)
Oh, were you waiting for Us to tell you how the trick was done? We never found out.
Meanwhile, Our Libra video is above, and here is the link with which you may share it with both of your friends: http://youtu.be/I-sVEr84fyk?list=UUtq4ffsQ_xGu4T5NSA2HfaQ
And heeeeerrrre’s the HorrorScope:
In celebrity birthdays, speaking of Sondheim, it is Angela Lansbury’s birthday.
Also, were We the only person on the planet who didn’t know who Jedward was? It is their birthday today as well. Why YouPeople keep things from Us, We’ll never know.
Ya know what’s good about dinner parties? Leftover lasagna.
· Aries After a long, sweaty, painful time trying to fix a knotty problem yourself, you'll finally admit defeat and call in a real thoracic surgeon.
· Taurus You'll become frustrated and depressed when, after approaching beautiful women with the corny line "I must paint you," you find it actually works like a charm.
· Gemini A horrifying incident with a knife-thrower, a chainsaw-juggler, and a fire-eater will result in grievous bodily harm, although it's kind of a surprise that it mostly involves being hit by a bus.
· Cancer The stars are sorry, but someone has already thought of starting a band with two of each instrument in it. It wasn't all that great an idea then, either.
· Leo You aren't the first person to try to change someone after falling in love, but you might be the first to try to unfold that someone into a robot.
· Virgo The powers-that-be will get back to you on that pesky legal matter with the news that they're sorry, but you can't be officially recognized as the first blind person to drive across North America if you put out your eyes just before crossing the finish line.
· Libra Some say the world will end in ice, some fire. However, the end of your personal world will be most notable for banal remarks on the humidity.
· Scorpio While it's true there is no plumbing the depths of the human heart, you'll come up with some novel ideas about its heating and electrical wiring.
· Sagittarius Your theory that there are only two types of people in the world won't go over well with the only other survivor of this week's global thermonuclear holocaust.
· Capricorn You've always considered yourself a belt-and-suspenders type, but all everyone else seems to focus on is your lack of pants.
· Aquarius Buck up: You still have a lot of life ahead of you, even if the good part was over years ago.
· Pisces You will fall into a pattern of self-destructive behavior this week when you discover how much fun that sort of thing is.
(Meanwhile, why We didn’t think of this sooner, We’ve got no idea, but better laid than necking, as they say (and how right they are!). For real live actual ass(tromlaogical) ho(roscopular) advice, please visit Our good friend AstroGeek here: http://sett.com/astrogeek895/. Our Own epistular musings are of use to you only insofar as making you feel better by comparison, but he will give you actual pertinent advice for your very own lives, based on upon the positions and transitations of all manner of planets, planetoids, asteroids, Altoids™, hemorrhoids, and other heavenly flotsam, jetsam, and Jetsons. Plus, he knows all about Uranus!)
Starzina Starfish-Browne was born in the wagon of a traveling show…well, okay, not really. She was actually born in Lowake, Texas, the daughter of a beautician and either a garage mechanic or the town mailman. At sixteen, she escaped her humble beginnings by running off with Doctor Browne’s Traveling Medicine Show and, more to the point, Doctor Browne. Following the dissolution of this unfortunate entanglement (Doctor Browne was a Virgo and Starzina is, of course, an Aries), which produced a daughter, Starzina entered a contest in Soap Opera Digest and won a scholarship to Oxford (yes, in ENGLAND), where she earned her doctorate in the newly-created dual major of Astrology and Human Sexuality. There is absolutely NO TRUTH to the rumor that Starzina’s second daughter has Royal blood, despite tabloid photographs allegedly depicting her cavorting on the Italian Riviera with Princes William and Harry, clad only in Prussian helmets and armbands of questionable taste. Starzina currently resides with her daughters in Philadelphia, the City That Loves You (On Your) Back, where she enjoys Double Coupon Day at the local SuperCruise and “encouraging” the coxswain of the Penn rowing team.