Haul out the holly

Greetings, Effete Rooster Is C0ck---

Here is your horoscope for Saturday (yes, boyzzz and gurrrlllzzz, Saturday !), January 16, 2010 (History in the making here, folks. Never before has there been an Eric's Daily Horoscope on a Saturday. But We just couldn't let the day go by without wishing all y'all a Happy Martin Luther King Day Eve Eve (Eve was weak...). Also, We are procrastinating about taking down Our Christmas tree (it is January 16th...see what a good procrastinator We are? In fact, if you've been putting off procrastinating, you could hire Us to do it for you. We promise We'd get it done eventually.) by sitting here staring at the WorldWideInterWebNetz and drinking Folgers™ Gourmet Selections Caramel Drizzle coffee, which tastes just like some fabulous breakfast pastry without, presumably, the capacity for @ss expansion. Scientists only thought the recent eclipse was caused by the Moon passing in front of the Sun...):

(But seriously, ladies and gerbils, We really are going to take down that tree. Which explains today's pixture, which was taken at Our Christmas party last year. When We did NOT get two feet of snow, and when Our @ss still all fit in one pixture.)

(Other than the tree, today will mostly be given over to Cultural Endeavors. We are currently reading, thanks to a fellow blogger who reminded Us that We had an unread copy lying about, Bill Bryson's A Short History Of Nearly Everything. Also, We are nearly finished watching Season 1 of Veronica Mars. And We have Netflixed Humpday, The Open Road, and The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, of which We read the book but have absolutely no recollection. So, if any of all y'all have non-spoilery comments or suggestions regarding those three fillums, have at it.)

(So now, lest these grand plans gang further agley, OUR-O-Scope...)

Having been in reverse since the turn of the year, and the decade, today Mercury starts to go forwards again (Where does Uranus go?)

- hallelujah! (She ejaculated.)

If you've been waiting for a chance to sign a contract because you didn't want to do that under Mercury retrograde, wait until Monday and then pounce. (We should put out that in this particular country, many people will not be signing contracts on Monday, either, as Monday is a holiday. We should also point out that We live in Souf Philly and, if We want to put a contract out on someone, We can do it whenever We d@mn well please.)

(Some of you may be wondering why, now that We are a legitimate resident of Bloggonia, We are still obscuring epithets with odd characters (e.g. d@mn, h3ll, m0therfu(king c0cksu(ker (gesundheit (thank you))). It is because some of Our more enterprising readers have already figgered out how to get their Eric's Daily Horoscope automatically emailed to them upon its creation, and they may be reading said emails at their places of enjoyment. So if We're really really nice to them, maybe they'll teach Us the email trick, and We can share it with all y'all.)

(Also, "she ejaculated." Heh. We kill Us.)

Just for the record, though, (Our eight-track-tape is stuck in the BetaMax.)

some of my most successful and long-term contracts have been signed under Mercury retrograde, so don't worry if you've made deals while Mercury was going backwards. (As long as you always know which way Uranus is going.)

(Uranus jokes. They just never get old.)

It can't just be me who benefits from the reverse motion of the zodiac's trickster! (We have read that last sentence three times, and We remain convinced that it is really, really dirty.)

Are you meant for each other? (Um...We're the only one here. (Okay, see, that's one of those occasions where The Royal We just really just sort of gums things up. The Queen of England must have these problems all the time. "Hand Us Our purses...er, purse." "Do you like Our hats...er, hat?" (Okay, she really wouldn't say that second one. Because someone might actually, ya know, tell her.)))

(YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com/

cowgrass: have a happy period)