I’m feeling transcendental…am I here?

Greetings, Earth’s Revolution Inspired Che---


(Edited to add: this would not be so tardy this morning, but apparently Windows™ took it upon itself to “improve” something on Our computer during the night , and it took Us a while to realize that said “improvement” was the source of the sluggishness and general computerial malaise. We have now eliminated the “improvement” and are continuing apace. Fu(k you, Windows™.)


Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, January 19, 2010 (Before you even ask, We have no idea where We got today’s pixture, or what made Us preserve it amongst Our files. But We thought you would enjoy it today, as you are busy taking down the Martin Luther King Day tree. For those who enjoyed yesterday’s pixture, that came from here http://www.smashingapps.com/2010/01/17/40-stunning-examples-of-high-speed-photography.html , courtesy of Our lovely and talented Kevin.):


(Meanwhile, if you are a resident of Massachusetts, please go and vote in today’s special election and keep That Freak out of the senate. (Are We the only one who envisions teabagging when We hear about these people?)

(The video is a clip from John Waters' Pecker. If you imagine that that's safe for work, then g0d bless both you and your imagination. (Well, there was going to be a video clip up there of teabagging. Apparently there are technical difficulties, and We don't have time to be @rsed.))

As an extra added attraction, a little birdie (if, by “little birdie”, you mean “SitOnMyFaceBook”) told Us that, if you happen to be registered to vote in Salem, you may actually witness Our lovely and talented Kevin and Our equally lovely and talented Gregory G0DD@MN! G. voting together. We’re pretty sure We just gave birth to a cute cuddly puppy just thinking about it. (Or something cute and cuddly happened in Our Depends™…We’re trying to type with two hands like a Highly-Trained Professional, so We can’t exactly check just now. (Sure does smell like a puppy, though.)))


(In other news, apparently Our scathing review of Humpday yesterday prevented Our Sistah Ovella from Netflixing same. And that is just the sort of public service We aim to provide here at Eric’s Daily Horoscope. Saving all y’all time and money, one Gentle Reader at a time. (Is it just Us, or does “Netflixing” sound like something out of a World War II movie? Or possibly Hogan’s Heroes:


Colonel Klink: Sergeant Schultz, ze general vill be here at any moment. Have you finished Netflixing ze prisoners?


Sergeant Schultz: I know nussing.


Why We don’t write for television, We’ll never know.))


You're due some good times (Good times and bum times, I’ve seen ‘em all and, my dear, I’m still queer.)


and some good news in the relationships departments (Wait…there’s a whole department for that?!? Where’s Our pink slip? <…Donald Trump…>You’re fired!<.../...Donald Trump...>)


(You’re picturing Us in a pink slip now, aren’t you? It’s a shame We had no warning, or We’d’ve shaved Our legs.)


and it shouldn't be too far away now. (Far is relative. It is also, if you don’t pronounce your Rs properly, a long, long way to go. And, if you’re an Englishwoman playing a German (Austrian?) woman who should be speaking/singing in German (Austrian?), pronouncing your Rs properly is the least of your worries. (Meanwhile, it occurs to Us that that movie (The Sound Of Muzak, for the dimwitted amongst you) would be vastly improved by a few appearances of Colonel Klink and Sergeant Schultz. The h3ll with television, We wanna write for da MOVIES! ))


For some it's going to be romantic news, of course. (Oh, “of course”. Don’t’cha hate people who say “of course” as though that makes whatever idiocy they’ve just spouted the gospel truth. “And then, a battalion of winged monkeys flew out of my @ss playing The Star-Spangled Banner on the bassoon, of course.” Shaddup. Of course.)


You know who you are! (Also, We know who you are, and We saw what you did. Of course.)


For others, it could be good news connected to a friend or a work contact. (A horse is a horse. Of course, of course.)


(WI-I-I-I-I-I-I-ILLLBURRRR!!!!)


Work in particular is looking very promising (Well, We promise to work eventually.)


at the moment as Venus heads for a link to Saturn. (And yet, not a single mention of Uranus. Hmmm…)


If you need to firm up any working relationships, now is a very good time to do it. (Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you read, you begin with Kenny G; when you sing, you begin with Peggy Lee.)


(What?)


Mercury is no longer going backwards so what's agreed to now is more likely to stick. (To Uranus?)


(YOUR-O-Scopes. Of course.


http://www.humorscope.com



the hills are alive with the sound of cowgrass…)