Greetings, Ethiopian Restaurant Induces Cachexia---(Micro$oft Weird™ doesn’t seem to know the word “cachexia”. It wants Us to change it to “Cecilia”. Which would really p1ss Us off if Our name were (subjunctively), say, Cecilia. Which it isn’t. But you knew that already. In fact, We are hard-pressed to think of anyone We know whose name is Cecilia. Although We bet We could think of such a person before We could think of someone whose name is Cachexia. Presumably, such a name would be more common in the former Soviet Socialist Republics. Or Alabama.)
(Never mind the fact that, despite knowing more words than Micro$oft Weird™, We are still somehow without a jawb. Ob-la-dee, ob-la-dah, etc.)
Here is your horoscope for Sunday, January 24, 2010 (We really have nothing to report, but We didn’t want to break Our streak of indeed being Eric’s DAILY Horoscope since entering the Wonderful World of Bloggonia. So Happy Day-Before-Just-Another-Manic-Monday, which We shall hereby christen Satanic Sunday. (The irony of christening something “Satanic” is not lost upon Us. Presumably, there is boiling holy water involved.)):
(That, those of you with counting fetishes will note, is the second “presumably” so far today. Clearly, there’s a whole lot of presumption going on. Why, it’s downright conspicuous presumption. Dare We say, extreme presumption. It may, in fact, be the Feast of the Presumption.)
(If the preceding paragraph amused you in any way, please seek professional help. Immediately.)
Just about anything tricky you're going through in your life now can be seen as some kind of divine purification. (We’re not quite sure how exactly to take that. We are, after all, about as pure as One can be, what with Our virginity having grown back and all. Pure as the driven yellow snow, We are. 99 and 44/100ths percent pure, just like that p0rno slut on the Ivory Snow™ box. (Do they still make Ivory Snow™? And is there still a slut on the box? Inquiring minds want to know…(We just went off to see the Google (the wonderful Google of Oz)…it would appear that Ivory Snow™ still exists, presumably (heh) sans slut-on-the-box. Here is the Snopes page re: said slut http://www.snopes.com/risque/porn/chambers.asp which is most notable for cluing Us in to the existence of a book entitled Don’t Bend Over In The Garden, Granny; You Know Them Taters Got Eyes, which We are pretty sure We shall have to read immediately.)))
Yes, that sounds weird and even a bit out there and voodoo but it doesn't have to be seen like that. (Oh, yes. Yes, it does.)
Two of the most intense planets are clashing across two of the most important parts of your chart. (Way to be specific, Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulist). Which two planets, and what two important parts?)
There is drama and there is room for healing. (There’s also a lady from Ealing who p1ssed on the ceiling, but that’s neither Frigidaire.)
The way to take all the celestial benefits that are on offer is to put up as little resistance as you possibly can manage. (Finally! Some advice We may actually be able to follow. Please watch, while We do as little as possible.)
(YOUR-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com
99 and 44/100ths % pure cowgrass )
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