I’m in love with a girl (he’s in love with a girl) named F-R-E-D Fred!

Greetings, Even Rational Integers Count---


Here is your horoscope for Sunday, January 31, 2010 (Well, ladies and gerbils, We have now officially blogged every single day since We first entered Bloggonia. That is a whopping (for those who like to count things in whopps…who does that?) twenty-four bloggations for the month of January alone. Never before in the history of Eric’s Daily Horoscope have there been twenty-four bloggations in one month. Why, think of the trees that would have to give their lives for the archival print version, if such a thing were (subjunctively) to be produced. (Although We really must get on the stick (as it (subjunctively) were) about the archival versions from preceding years. We know how all y’all are clamoring for them. Clamor, clamor, clamor…like clams, you are. If you had a clamor, you’d clamor in the morning.):


(We truly don’t mean to go on blogging about the process of blogging, even though We never met a meta We didn’t like. (Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper too?) But We must just mention how very tickled We were when We posted yesterday’s entry and a Barbie™ ad appeared thereon. Even more amusing are the ads that have now appeared if you go back and look at the day of the Barbie™ entry, which is here: http://ericsdailyhoroscope.blogspot.com/2010/01/im-barbie-girl-in-barbie-worldlife-in.html . Who wouldn’t want a Ladies-of-the-80s Doll? (We shall have to doublecheck that that doesn’t say “Ladies-in-their-80s”. Truth in advertising, don’t’cha know?))


(In other news, We had a dreadful night’s sleep last night. Oh, We slept, but We kept having nightmares about being in The WorkPlace, and then waking up, and then promptly going back to sleep, only to have another nightmare about being in The WorkPlace. In one of them, for example, the cubicles had been equipped with urinals, so One didn’t waste time going to the bathroom. (What One did if One had to p00p was, mercifully, not made clear to Us.) Fortunately, this tour of H3ll was all made worthwhile in the very last nightmare, which ended with the appearance of Our high school crush, looking conveniently exactly as he did in high school. Which is not particularly unusual, as that is in fact the last time We saw him. Unfortunately, We woke up just as quickly from this dream as from all the others, so a good time was not had by all. If you know what We mean. And We think you do. P3rverts.)


(Speaking of perverts, here’s this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/sex-explained-by-pens . It is, as the title would indicate, s3x explained by pens. Bic™ pens, for the most part. It is work-safe, although what the h3ll are you doing working on Sunday, you godless heathen?)


(You say “Horse!”, We say, “Cope!”)


There are quite a few people out there in the big, wide world who are feeling a bit like they're stalled. (A horse joke, or a constipation joke? Decisions, decisions. Six of one, half a dozen of your mother.)


You might well be one of them. (What’s that supposed to mean?)


Even if 2010 is already shaping up to be a brilliant year for you, (We are d@mn near dazzled. Blinded, as it (subjunctively) were, by the light. Cut loose like a douche, or whatever those unintelligible lyrics are meant to be.)


and it actually might well be exactly that, (Whereas, in actuality, the preceding eight words might just as well have been eight random words plucked willy-nilly from a random word generator, for all the meaning they manage to convey. Observe: Hatpin echinoderm novena, inconsequentially frenulum aardvark forthwith shoe. See?)


there are many Aries who are nonetheless feeling a little stalled. (This particular Aries, however, has already p00ped like a horse this morning. (We decided that combining the jokes would be the better part of valor. (We have no idea what that means, but We are, like, totally a Valor Girl.)))


(Speaking of p00ping, from Our friends at http://www.textsfromlastnight.com , a phrase We are trying to introduce to the common vernacular to express One’s disinclination to do something: “I’d rather sh1t a knife.” Also, for Our readers who are sportsfans: “I hate the [Insert Team Name Here] so much, I wouldn’t root for them if they were playing al Qaeda.”)


Like the New Year hasn't really started yet. (Like, totally. As in, like, that is totally not a sentence, and it also, like, totally makes no sense. @sshat.)


The good news is that where you're feeling like things aren't going to change is exactly where they ARE going to change in the not too distant future, so keep the faith. (Baha’i…how are ya?)


(YOUR-O-Scopes:


http://www.humorscope.com


a little cow’ll grass ya)