Greetings, Erogenous Rezoning Induces Chafing---
Here is your horoscope for Thursday, January 14, 2010 (No, boyzzz and gurrrlllzzz, it was not all a dream...We really are a Blogger Of The Modern Age. So dazzled were We by Our new position (ahem) that We totally forgot to wish John G a happy twenty-fourth birthday yesterday. Also, happy birthday to Ed, who turns twenty-four today.):
(Turns out, We have actually been using Google's blogger for quite some time, unbeknownst to Our Own Self. The lovely and talented Willam Belli's blog is on here, and We clicked some button that made Us a follower. Unfortunately, We have yet to find the button that says "send Us an email when the blogs We follow update", so We've still had to go manually looking (and We will keep sending all y'all emails when We update, so you won't miss a scintillating second). But if any of all y'all figger out how to activate automatic notifications, do please let Us know. (For those with inquiring minds who want to know, Willam's blog is http://itaintwilliam.blogspot.com/ .))
(Is it just Us, or does "manually looking" sound like something entirely different than what We intended it to mean? Perhaps it's the term for hunting through your SitOnMyFaceBook friends' friends for cute bois...or perhaps it's how people in Southern California find gardeners.)
(Hey, just because We have a blog now doesn't mean We're gonna go all politically correct on yo' @sses.)
(Speaking of which, We're just two days away from the eve of Martin Luther King Day Eve. We trust you've got all your cards addressed and your presents wrapped. Our radio is tuned to the All Martin Luther King Day Carols All The Time station, and We'll be trimming Our tree just as soon as We finish here.)
(Oh, you do so too hunt through your SitOnMyFaceBook friends' friends for cute bois...don't you lie to Us.)
(Today's pixture, meanwhile, is apropos of absolutely nothing, although it might amuse those who were kind enough to show up for the WaitStaff Christmas show. We are well aware, however, that We are working in a viZZZual medium, so We will make every effort to keep all y'all viZZZually stimulated.)
(And now, OUR-O-Scope.)
Things unfolding now can have consequences into the future. (As opposed to what? The past? Aren't consequences by definition of the future? Shut. Up. @sshat.)
This can be good or not so good (Or, maybe, BAD?)
but there are fabulous planetary configurations (Okay, you just know you have to go back and re-read "fabulous planetary configurations" out loud, with jazz hands.)
in amongst the more difficult ones. (We are two sentences into this horoscope, and We still have not a clue as to what this Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulist) is ranting on about. It's like trying to order Chinese food for delivery using two Dixie™ cups and a string.)
(Oh, don't pretend you don't know exactly what We're talking about.)
(Extremely astute readers will note that, just yesterday, We said We hadn't yet figgered out how to do Our "TM=trademark" symbol here in Bloggonia, and yet, there it is in the pre-preceding paragraph, big as life. How did We do it? We typed it in Micro$oft Weird™ and copied it over, that's how. Because there's more than one way to skin a cat. And, once it's skinned, you can make moo goo gai pan and bling it on a bicycre.)
(We wonder if today's horoscope will cause ads for Chinese restaurants to suddenly appear amongst Our contextually appropriate advertising. (We also wonder what happens when you click on some of that cr@p. So let Us know, wouldja, because We're not allowed.))
First, there's a solar eclipse happening today in your career sector which could mean big changes coming up for you in this area. (Well, We don't know what exactly you think is gonna change, but We bet We don't find a job in the dark.)
Whether you want to change jobs or careers, (Honey, We don't want a job or a career, We just want a paycheck.)
do some extra study to improve your chances in the future, (How hard would We have to study to improve Our chances in the past?)
or tell the boss where he can get off, (Why would We tell him that when We can't even get off Our Own Self?)
you'll find more success by sending out positive messages about the future. (Oh, blah-blah-blah, creative viZZZualization. Every week, We creatively viZZZualize exactly what We will do when We win PowerBall™. Every week, it doesn't happen. So shut your PollyannaOptimisticCreativelyViZZZualizing CakeHoles, before We shut 'em for ya with a staple gun.)
Secondly, Mercury, the planet of communications is going forward after three weeks of being retrograde. (And you don't even wanna KNOW what Uranus, the planet of constipation, is gonna do.)
Make up your wish list around what you want career wise and remember that things are not quick to move right now with Mars retrograde. (That's not what Uranus said.)
The Sabian Symbol for Mars right now is Leo 16: Brilliant Sunshine Just After a Storm. (What the
fu(k language was THAT?)
Concentrate on that silver lining! (Indeed...We'll no doubt be expected to polish it.)
(YOUR-O-Scopes:
if it says "cowgrass cowgrass cowgrass" on the label label label, you will like it, like it, like it on your table table table...)
Blog, blog, blog, blog, blog.....BLOG!
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