Pour myself a cup of ambition

Greetings, Esophageal Reflux Includes Corndog---

Here is your horoscope for Friday, January 15 (Happy Friday to all y'all working stiffs. We Our Own Self Personally unglued Our eyelids this morning and looked a the clock, which promptly said 9-1-1. Presumably that is some sort of vile omen, but nevertheless We sprang from Our bed to come down here and blog to you lucky people (instead of dialling 9-1-1...We hope We did the right thing.). Happy birthday to anyone whose birthday it is. (If there are people in here in Bloggonia whom We don't know, leave Us a comment with at least your name and your birthday. By this time next year, We intend to be in here in a fright wig like that crazed b1tch on Romper Room, looking into Our Magic Mirror and saying, "And I see Anastasia, and Amelia, and Jimmy...")) :

(We regret to inform you that there was an error in yesterday's Eric's Daily Horoscope. If you visited during the day, the link to Willam Belli's blog was broken. It has since been rectumfied, but here it is again for your convenience: http://itaintwilliam.blogspot.com/ .)

(And now, breaking news! Today's pixture (of Our fellow WaitStaffians performing The Real Housewives of Souf Philly (well, they're not actually fellows, as you can plainly see)) is there because you are hearing it here first, folks...the WaitStaff will be doing a show in February...at the World Cafe Live! (For some idea as to why the overexcited interrobangs (don't'cha just love that word?), see here: http://www.worldcafelive.com/index.php ))

(Meanwhile, Happy Martin Luther King Day Eve Eve Eve. (Did anybody else just mentally go "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!"? Just Us? Alrighty then.) We solemnly swear (sh1t p1ss fu(k vice balls and corruption) that We are going to take Our Christmas tree down this weekend.)

(Speaking of random holidays, here's a little early President's Day president present for all y'all:

...how cool is it that We can just stick a video right in the middle of Our horoscope? (Of course, this is going to wreak havoc with the print edition. (Of course, print editions are SOOOO last millennium.)) Are all y'all gettin' the hang of Bloggonia? Leave comments, or suggestions...or just talk amongst yourselves. Because now? You can!)

You may have to neglect friends and family this morning in order to catch up with important work, (Oh, sure. This, as We sit here, typing Our fingers to the bone for YouPeople, while Our Christmas tree looks more and more like Miss Havisham's wedding cake by the hour. (Every so often, We feel compelled to prove that We're not completely illiterary. Then We tell a

f@rt joke.))

but a brainstorm that hits late in the day (And Us, without Our umbrella.)

should help you multitask and please everyone. (Oh? We're going to please everyone? And when exactly is everyone going to please Us?)

Enough with being good. (Dunno 'bout that...first, let's try giving up being fair, and being poor.)

You've been there, done that and gotten your free t-shirt. (Wait...there was a t-shirt?)

Now, after stashing it in the bottom of your undies drawer for who knows how long, (You keep your d@mn Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulations) the h3ll OUT of Our undies drawer, Missy!)

you've just ironed it (BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAH!!! Miss Woman actually thinks We'd iron a t-shirt ! (Or anything, for that matter.))

and put it up for sale on eBay. (We could be selling all KINDS of things on eBay, if We hadn't listened to those d@mn people who said to get rid of stuff when you move. Why do people like to hear theyselves talk so much?)

Needless to say, (But just watch...she's gonna say it anyway.)

you're ready for a change. (See?)

The universe is feeling just as restless, (Awww. Poor Universe.)

so you won't need to be worried about monotony. (And stereotony isn't even a word, so We've got that covered.)

Several astrological energies will be on duty all day to be sure that you're far from bored. (Is there something about that sentence that makes you p33 yourself just a little, or is it just Us?)

Your attitude toward love is undergoing a sea change. (Oh, look...a jellyfish!)

That means that every moment you have a different take on how you're going to handle romance. (Oh, shut up...Our jellyfish joke was funnier.)

Let yourself watch the changes, (But don't change the watches. Or hang the swatches. Or fear the reaper. (What?))

but don't make any choices yet. (But isn't choosing not to choose a choice? And how many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Strawberry.)

(YOUR-O-Scopes:

http://www.humorscope.com/

hold the cowgrass, hold the cowgrass, special orders don't upcowgrass)