Greetings, Egested Ravioli Inconveniences Choirmaster---
Here is your horoscope for Friday, January 22, 2010 (Happy Friday, Boyzzz and Gurrrlllzzz! Here in Greater Bloggonia, We are in a constant state of awe at just how un-user-friendly the Google is. Our latest complaint is that We can’t get it to notify Us when all y’all comment on Our blog. So if any of you Highly Trained Computer Professionals could let Us know how to do that, We’d be grateful. Although We shan’t hold Our breaths…We noticed that yesterday was apparently Nobody Goes On The WorldWIdeInterWebNetz Day, and nobody bothered to tell Us about that.):
(Before We begin today’s Eric’s Daily Horoscope proper (you sweet chopper, Betty Proper (did that sound Chinese to you? Because it sounded Chinese to Us, and We have no idea why)), We offer you the following Moving Picture (ain’t technology wunnerful?). It is a French AIDS prevention commercial. (Don’t let the Frenchosity put you off…you don’t need to unnerstand a word of French to get it. (On the other hand, you should let the Frenchosity clue you in that it’s probably Not Safe For Work. (That “Not Safe For Work” does not apply to Our Sistah Ovella or OurJoshie, both of whom actually work in AIDS prevention. (“Not Safe For Work” presumably also does not apply to people who work for p0rno movie companies, but We don’t happen to know any of them (that We know of), so that’s neither beer nor hair.)))))
Now could be a testing time (A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo™ factory. The Personnel Manager explains her duties and tells her to report to work promptly at 8.00am. The next day at 8.45am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the Personnel Manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman and says "I am sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday, I said, your job is to give Elmo "two test tickles".)
(Now, mind you, through the Miracle Whips of Modern Technology™, We did not have to type that whole joke. In fact, all We had to do was search “two test tickles” and We found the text on the first try. It gave Us a few moments of difficulty till We realized that the original had been in a white font on a black background, but that’s neither queer nor Cher.)
(Ooops…did We do all of this in the middle of an Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopular) sentence? Too bad, so sad, @nal s3x with your dad.)
as we get a chance to see how well the ideas we've put into the Great Mixing Pot are going to take off. (Okay, “the Great Mixing Pot”? The h3ll? Just because you capitalize something doesn’t automatically make it a known household phrase. Especially not in this household, you Cr@ckaddled C00ze.)
(Heh. See what We did there? Meanwhile, this just in: in an effort to scope out the lay (heh) of the land at the World Café Live (which We have never seen), We are off to a free lunchtime concert of Freelance Whales and Danny Barnes. You, naturally, are peeing green envy. (We, naturally, don’t even know if that’s one group or two.))
In other words, ideas and propositions we put in place at the time of the New Moon, which was an eclipse, no less, get their first challenge around about now as the Moon squares the Sun. (Wow. That was a whole lot of technical jargon there. To simplify, here is what you should take away from it: We’re gonna moon your son. Okay? Okay.)
If an idea has legs, (With Our luck, it would probably learn to tapdance. In Our brain.)
and gets through this patch, (Who else was thinking “snatch patch”? Just Us? Liar, liar, pants on fire.)
you can expect the next hint that you're on the right track in about another week's time, at the time of the next Full Moon. (We shall wait with bated breath. (Which is, as long-time readers are well aware, different from baited breath. Which means you have a worm in your mouth.)
(What?)
Are you meant for each other? (Non sequitur, to the white courtesy phone please.)
(YOUR-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com
cowgrass …it’s not just for breakfast any more.)
No comments:
Post a Comment