Greetings, Eccentric Rapper Introduces Coloratura---Here is your horoscope for Saturday, February 20, 2010 (Happy birthday to Katie, who turns twenty-four today. And Happy Saturday to the rest of all ya’ll.):
(Since so few of you were there to witness it (but Our thanks to those who were) We are here to tell you that We pretty much sold out the World Café Live last night. Also, We killed, and came in almost exactly to Our time limit, to the great joy of the staff and management, and the act that followed Us. Our next show will be in May, on multiple dates TBA somewhere around Mothers’ Day, and is tentatively entitled The Mother Of All WaitStaff Shows. Perhaps you’ll pencil Us in.)
(Our garbage was just collected on OurShtreetWhereWeLive. Of course, We don’t mean Our actual garbage, but rather the garbage in OurNeighborhood. Our Own Personal garbage has not been sitting outside since last Sunday, ThankYouVeryMuch.)
(In still other news, Eric Junior is currently looking (with his one good eye) at the inside of a garment We received in the mail. The garment is Ours (or Eric Junior’s) to keep, and will be joined by a second such garment after We answer (or Eric Junior answers) some questions about the first one. After We answer (or Eric Junior answers) some questions about the second one, We will be paid ten dollah. The WorldWideInterWebNetz are Our friend.)
(Hey, We appeared in public last night in black boxers with fire-engine-red lipstick prints* and the words “Kiss me!” all over them…did you imagine there’s something We wouldn’t do for money?)
(*Not actual lipstick prints. But then, you knew that.)
(Meanwhile, the snow, she is melting at an amazing rate. Just in time for next week’s forecast, which appears to include snow every single day. Lovely.)
(And now a word about today’s pixture. Obviously, this is a spoof of the iconic “I’m the King of the World” pose from the 1997 fillum Titanic. Just as obviously, these people are not Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, and little effort has been expended to make them appear to be, what with the modern clothing and all. However, much like Your Humble Scribe here, you are very, very, very, very, very, very g@y if one of your first thoughts upon taking the whole pixture in was, “Day-um, her shoes are really ugly.” We’re just sayin’.)
(Our-O-Scope)
You will be energetic, solid, resistant, spirited, trustworthy, hardy and resolute. (Just reading that makes Us want to go lie down.)
You will see everything through rose-tinted spectacles. (We are pretty sure that the last time anyone actually said “spectacles” to refer to optical aids as opposed to memorable extravaganzae (We will pluralize how We d@mn please, Micro$oft Weird™) was during the Eisenhower years. Shut. Up. Kelli.)
You will be objective, lively, competent, prudent and calculating. (By Our calculations that’s a dozen adjectives that “We’ll be” so far. Clearly this is a case of throwing everything against the wall to see that sticks.)
You will feel good. (Like We knew that We would now.)
You will live through a very good period, (But will it be a happy period?)
especially on the intellectual front. (Um, boxers with lipstick prints. Obviously, “intellectual” is way back there somewhere.)
You will have a lot of luck. (Tell the PowerBall™ people.)
Time when you have difficulty in concentrating on work, especially anything intellectual. (But didn’t you just say…oh, never mind.)
You will probably become intolerant, fanatical and with excessive hardness, seriousness and rigor. (Well, don’t sugarcoat it.)
You want to move, to travel, to see friends. (Especially the imaginary ones.)
Your imagination will play nasty tricks on you. (Okay, so wait…if Our imaginary friends play imaginary tricks on Our imagination…Our heads hurt.)
(YOUR-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com
plop-plop fizz-fizz, oh, what a cowgrass it is )
Thank you!!
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