LOST without your love

Greetings, Eventually, Rapunzel Implemented Conditioner---


Here is your horoscope for Friday, February 05, 2010 (Did you hear? There’s a snowstorm coming. Quick, Robin, to the BatPoles…We must go to the market and buy up all the bread, milk, eggs, and toilet paper. Then, We shall eat French toast for three days and, presumably, p00p a lot.):


(People? Are insane. Today would ordinarily be Our day to pillage and plunder the Ack-A-Me, but We can only imagine the frenzy that is currently underway there. We may have to toddle over later, just to point at people and laugh. And why is there a blizzard coming anyway? We are not scheduled to be hosting a party this weekend.)


(Here for Our fellow Lost fanatics is a side-by-side video of the first scene from Season One next to the first scene from Season Six. (Actually, you don’t need to know a single thing about Lost to find this interesting. So, non-Lost-fans, check it out as well, and tell Us if We’re wrong. (It’s only about a minute and a half, and it’s work safe (unless you happen to work for Oceanic Airlines)))).

(That video comes to Us courtesy of TCBITWWW, whom We spoke to last night. Then We had a dream in which We were visiting him on The Left Coast, and We were sitting around his beach house(!) drinking sparkling red wine. Whatever the h3ll sparkling red wine is. All We know is, it was red wine, and it was fizzy. (Fizzy Wizzy Frigidaire™, Fizzy Wizzy, call up Cher, so Fizzy Wizzy isn’t fizzy, Wheezy. (Sorry.)) After the wine, We went and did a show with Willam Belli. (We should be so lucky.) With dreams like that, it is unclear to US why We ever bother getting out of bed.)


(We have some 250 seats to fill, so We are going to continue to point out that you can buy your tickets to the WaitStaff’s VD show Desperate and Dateless at the World Café Live at 7:30 on Friday, February 19th here: http://tickets.worldcafelive.com/eventperformances.asp?evt=3418 . Visit Us at Our website http://www.thewaitstaff.com or on SitOnMyFaceBook http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-WaitStaff/177605379471?ref=ts . And watch this space for info on where to hang out with Us after the show that night (another show immediately follows Ours at the World Café, so, while you can show up there as early as 6PM for drinks and dinner (and did We mention drinks?), We shall have to leave the premises immediately following the chortling of the last guffaw.))



(Our-O-Scope…)


Whether it's business or pleasure on your mind, (There’s no business like snow business like no business I know…(See? How can you be upset about a blizzard when you’re thinking about Ethel Merman? (Also, Micro$oft Weird™ is actually suggesting that We change “snow” in that sentence to “show”. Fu(k ‘em since they can’t take a joke.)))


fast-talking can save the day today. (Fill in the blank: “You fast talker, _____________.”


(A.) Alte kocher


(B.) Davey Crockett


(C.) Ashton Kutcher


(Hey, there’s a blizzard coming. Obviously, We have lost Our mind(s).))


If you have a project you want to get finished over the weekend, (Tough! Because there’s gonna be six feet of snow! All you’ll be able to do is eat French toast and p00p.)


the skies are certainly speeding things up. (Gray skies are gonna clear up…sit on Our happy face.)


(Life is just a Broadway musical, innit?)


Ideas should flow (Menstrually?)


and conversations should be anything but stilted today. (Fine. Let’s have a long unstilted conversation about how Micro$oft Weird™ doesn’t recognize the adverbial form “menstrually”. Adjectivally, One could obviously have a menstrual show, although the blackface and banjos might be somewhat politically incorrect. But don’t try to tell that to The New Christie Menstruals. (Oh, now Micro$oft Weird™ won’t even let Us pluralize it? And this after a Goo-Goo-Googley-eyed search revealed that, in the UK, the Mars Candy Company sells a candy called Menstruals. Which are, essentially, chocolate M&Ms, except they’re all brown. (We are not making this up. http://www.ciao.co.uk/Galaxy_Minstrels__Review_5422508 (Although it is entirely possible that We are talking at crossed porpoises. Perhaps the impending snowpocalypse has deranged Us.))))


Watch out if you think someone's trying to pull one over you with their own fast-talking - you might be 200% right! (Okay, is 200% right a left, or a wrong? We are so confused…)


(YOUR-O-Scopes:


http://www.humorscope.com


Mars Cowgrass Menstruals…betcha can’t eat just one!)