Greetings, Ending Rendered Intended Contention---
Here is your horoscope for Friday, March 12, 2010 (Happy birthday to the lovely Sean, who turns twenty-four today. He is probably too lovely to even be reading this, but We do like to make an effort. Actually, We are pretty sure that there are a number of you who are not reading this, so, if you’re not, please leave Us a comment so We know that you’re not. (Eric’s Daily Horoscope: We’re doing Our part for the 2010 Census.)):
(Meanwhile, nice weather We’re having, eh what? And, as if today weren’t (subjunctively) unattractive enough, tomorrow is supposedly going to be full-out monsoon season, followed by still more rain on Sunday. And, after the hectic week We’ve had, We had intended to run a lot of errands this weekend. In between Our many other commitments. (No, We are not finally being committed. You can hold your breath all you like…they’ll never catch Us!)) We may just have to don We now some unnatural fibers (i.e. Not Our G@y Apparel) and go out anyway…after all, fa la-la la-la, la-la la-la.)
(Clearly, the LP that is Our mind has a scratch in it. (The chirren just all ran off to Google “LP” on Wikipedia. Silly chirren…the InterNetz are for p0rn. Also, cricks are for squids. We, on the other hand, are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs™.))
(We just peeked in on Bloggonia (to see what condition Our condition was in), and lo, all y’all are chomping at the proverbial bit to read today’s installment. So We suppose We had better best hurry on up.)
(Our-O-Scope…)
Even the most stoic and solid of authority figures have off days. (Isn’t “stoic’ a peculiar word? It’s like somebody ran out of letters before they got to the end.)
(Speaking of non sequiturs, the lemur has escaped again. Also, We should alert you that We will probably not be coming to you live tomorrow morning, as We are off at the cr@ck of @ssz to a seminar about Why We Shall Never Find Work In Show Business. So you shall have to make do with reading Our Greatest Hits until at least Sunday.)
They've also made bad decisions based on the best of intentions. (Well, you know what They say: the road to LA is paved with hair extensions. (Why do They keep saying such stupid things that don’t make any sense? And, more to the point, why does anybody keep listening to Them?))
Mention that before you start confessing your sins. (Well, they’re not so much sins as they are creative wrongdoings. Also, bite Us.)
You're torn between a) walking away, (Renee?)
and b) asking them to elope immediately. (Elope? We cantaloupe. Watermelon!)
(Do you see what you’ve driven Us to?)
Seeing as there's a bit of a discrepancy between these options, (Actually, We are pretty sure there was never any crepancy in the first place. So precious little discrepping was ever even possible. (Meanwhile, mmmm….crepes.))
(Speaking of crepes, L’Etage, where the WaitStaff will be performing in May, is right above Beau Monde, which is a creperie. So, if you have not yet become Our fan on SitOnMyFaceBook, you could do so here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/The-WaitStaff/177605379471?ref=ts. Because crepes are yummy.)
take the night to sleep on it. (Also, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. (We’re not exactly sure where that just came from, but We’re gonna try to send it right on back. This is a Beyoncé -free zone.))
(YOUR-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com
it takes two hands to handle a cowgrass)
Here is your horoscope for Friday, March 12, 2010 (Happy birthday to the lovely Sean, who turns twenty-four today. He is probably too lovely to even be reading this, but We do like to make an effort. Actually, We are pretty sure that there are a number of you who are not reading this, so, if you’re not, please leave Us a comment so We know that you’re not. (Eric’s Daily Horoscope: We’re doing Our part for the 2010 Census.)):
(Meanwhile, nice weather We’re having, eh what? And, as if today weren’t (subjunctively) unattractive enough, tomorrow is supposedly going to be full-out monsoon season, followed by still more rain on Sunday. And, after the hectic week We’ve had, We had intended to run a lot of errands this weekend. In between Our many other commitments. (No, We are not finally being committed. You can hold your breath all you like…they’ll never catch Us!)) We may just have to don We now some unnatural fibers (i.e. Not Our G@y Apparel) and go out anyway…after all, fa la-la la-la, la-la la-la.)
(Clearly, the LP that is Our mind has a scratch in it. (The chirren just all ran off to Google “LP” on Wikipedia. Silly chirren…the InterNetz are for p0rn. Also, cricks are for squids. We, on the other hand, are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs™.))
(We just peeked in on Bloggonia (to see what condition Our condition was in), and lo, all y’all are chomping at the proverbial bit to read today’s installment. So We suppose We had better best hurry on up.)
(Our-O-Scope…)
Even the most stoic and solid of authority figures have off days. (Isn’t “stoic’ a peculiar word? It’s like somebody ran out of letters before they got to the end.)
(Speaking of non sequiturs, the lemur has escaped again. Also, We should alert you that We will probably not be coming to you live tomorrow morning, as We are off at the cr@ck of @ssz to a seminar about Why We Shall Never Find Work In Show Business. So you shall have to make do with reading Our Greatest Hits until at least Sunday.)
They've also made bad decisions based on the best of intentions. (Well, you know what They say: the road to LA is paved with hair extensions. (Why do They keep saying such stupid things that don’t make any sense? And, more to the point, why does anybody keep listening to Them?))
Mention that before you start confessing your sins. (Well, they’re not so much sins as they are creative wrongdoings. Also, bite Us.)
You're torn between a) walking away, (Renee?)
and b) asking them to elope immediately. (Elope? We cantaloupe. Watermelon!)
(Do you see what you’ve driven Us to?)
Seeing as there's a bit of a discrepancy between these options, (Actually, We are pretty sure there was never any crepancy in the first place. So precious little discrepping was ever even possible. (Meanwhile, mmmm….crepes.))
(Speaking of crepes, L’Etage, where the WaitStaff will be performing in May, is right above Beau Monde, which is a creperie. So, if you have not yet become Our fan on SitOnMyFaceBook, you could do so here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/The-WaitStaff/177605379471?ref=ts. Because crepes are yummy.)
take the night to sleep on it. (Also, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. (We’re not exactly sure where that just came from, but We’re gonna try to send it right on back. This is a Beyoncé -free zone.))
(YOUR-O-Scopes:
http://www.humorscope.com
it takes two hands to handle a cowgrass)
I am reading! And it is monsooning here too! Where is that thing called spring?
ReplyDeleteWell, it has been pretty warm here for the past week. Also, even during the monsoon, it is going to be in the 50s. Which makes me not understand how the predicted "ice pelleting" is going to work....
ReplyDeleteThat picture seems a bit racist to me.
ReplyDelete