Peripatetic, poetic and chic.

Greetings,


Here is your horoscope for


(Our-O-Scope…)


(YOUR-O-Scopes:


http://www.humorscope.com


cowgrass)


(Heh. That is the yawning, gaping maw of a template with which We are confronted each and every morning as We prepare to entertain and enlighten all y’all. Someday, We shall just issue that forth into Bloggonia, and let you find out just how much fun it is to fill in your own d@mn blanks.)


(Today, however, is not that day.)


Greetings, Enid Redid Intrepid Candids--


Here is your horoscope for Friday, March 5, 2010 (Happy birthday to Rene, who turns twenty-four today. Happy birthday also to Steve, who also turns twenty-four today. Also also, happy birthday to Tom, who also turns twenty-four today too, as well, and in addition. Altogether, that adds up to seventy-two. A mathematical fact which is every bit as useful as all of the hours We wasted learning trigonometry and calculus in high school.):


(Right away, just to prove that We actually can after the Sweeney Floyd debacle of the other day, We give you a video. It is a music video, although you will be hard-pressed to pay any attention to the music, and it is safe for work.)

(Our-O-Scope…)


You can work wonders with your gift of gab, (To say nothing of Our gift of flab.)


both personally and professionally. (Also, paradoxically and poinsettiacally. Not to mention philodendronically and Punxsutawnically. At least periodically, if not perianally.)


(What?)


That includes mending fences between coworkers, (See, back when We actually had coworkers, nothing would have given Us greater pleasure than seeing ‘em all wrapped up in barbed wire. Nothing, that is, unless the barbed wire were also (subjunctively) electrified.)


bringing the balance back (Okay, We? Are bringing the sexy back. But it’s okay, because We have Our receipt.)


into situations that haven't been fairly or equally managed, and restoring the peace among family members and friends who aren't seeing eye to eye. (Jeebus, Kelli, are they paying you by the word these days? Blah-blah-blah, shut-up-cakes.)


They want you to commit, but you're just not ready. (It should be noted at this juncture that there is a substantial difference between wanting someone to commit, and wanting to have someone committed. Just sayin’.)


They're threatening to leave if you don't. (Don’t let the screen door hitcha where the Good Lord splitcha. (We’re so folksy, ain’t We?))


Doesn't sound like the perfect beginning, does it? (What? Is somebody tryin’ to start somethin’? Don’t even.)


It wouldn't be good for business, and you're much nicer than all that. (Sorry…have We met?)


The good name and solid reputation you've earned on the job will come in handy now. (Yeah. That’s Us. We’re handy. (Just what We need, a job that involves tools. (Not, of course, that Our last job didn’t involve tools…it’s just that they ran the place.)))


You'll be well-rewarded for past efforts -- and the kudos won't hurt much, either. (At least not until We wrap ‘em up in electrified barbed wire and throw ‘em at your @ss.)


(YOUR-O-Scopes:


http://www.humorscope.com


Cowgrass. Pleasure you want. Protection you trust.)