Sunday, March 14, 2010

Someone left my cake out in the rain


Greetings, Enchantress Recants Incapacitating Chants---


Here is your horoscope for Sunday, March 14, 2010 (And a Velly Happy Monsoon Season to One and All. (It could, presumably, have been worse…it could have been snow. Of course, it remains to be seen if it’s ever going to stop, so there’s that.) Also, Happy Sunday, and Happy Ides Of March Eve. (Who the h3ll is Eve, and how did she get in here? (Eve was weak…(Thank you, Piper Laurie.))) We Our Own Selves Personally decided it would be wise to take a morning constitutional yesterday. Actually, We were on Our way to a seminar at a casting agency, entitled “Why You Will Never Work In Show Business, You Hideous Aged Hag”. But, all New Age-y Creative ViZZZualization aside, We bring it up here for those who enjoy playing along with the Eric’s Daily Horoscope Home Game (Thank you, Don Pardo.) We were going from 11th and Mifflin (S 11th St., for those who are MapQuesting) to 7th and Callowhill (N 7th St, in MQ). Which means We walked down to 7th Street to catch the northbound #47 SEPTA bus. Naturally, We walked along the bus route until the bus came…which didn’t happen until Lombard Street, for those who (A.) know the geography or (2.) are MapQuesting. We were a bit moist., to say the very least. (Isn’t “moist” one of those words that just sounds filthy?)):


(But other than that, what did you think of Dallas, Mrs. Kennedy?)


(In addition to Monsoon Season, it is also of course Sunday (currently a misnomer if there ever was one), so Happy Sunday, and Happy Pi Day to all of Our nerd friends. (Happy Pie Day to the rest of all y’all, because mmmm….pie!))


(Our Our-O-Scope today is not Our usual Our-O-Scope, but rather is an Ass(tromalogical) Ho(roscopulational) Pro(gnostimacation) for the entire upcoming week from The Distracted Asstrologer at
http://distractedastrologer.wordpress.com/2010/03/14/sun-sign-horoscopage-15th%e2%80%9321st-march-2010/ We offer it here without additional commentary because it’s pretty funny all on its own, plus We have to go get ready to leave OurHouseWhereWeLive again (We know…riiight?) to see some play entitled Naked Boys Singing About Baseball. Sometimes, the Glamour that is Our life is nigh on overwhelming.)


On Monday evening, Mercury and Uranus make the monthly meeting of Luminaries a bit more interesting by spiking the Sun and Moon’s cocoa.


On Tuesday, the silver-tongued god of commerce hears that Neptune and Chiron are making St Patrick’s Day aftercare packages, and offers them a healthy bulk buy discount on alka seltzer.


Wednesday finds the Sun with a St Paddy’s day tab at the Pisces bar and a new friend in Uranus. Neptune and Venus fall out after their third pint of stout and cider, while Mercury quietly packs his bag for a move next door. Not one for clearing-up, isn’t our Mercury.


Thursday’s Sun only moves to accept slow sips of alka seltzer from concerned Neptune. Venus raises her head from the floorboards, tells Chiron to sod off, then hides under the mat until the Universe stops somersaulting. In another room of the Aries house, Mercury phones landlord Mars, to offer him free cable, no questions asked. Shortly before midnight, the Sun accepts Chiron’s kind offer of two paracetamol and a pint of Irn Bru.


Friday is quiet, in a sleeping-off or watching back-to-back episodes of All Creatures Great and Small sort of way.


On Saturday morning, a window at the Capricorn castle flies up, and Pluto bawls across to Mercury. As catchy as the theme tune is, if he has to listen once more to those merry pom pom poms he would personally raze the Yorkshire Dales to the ground, rendering the role of a mid 20th century rural vet defunct. Mercury changes channel to Hi-De-Hi.


Saturday teatime, the Sun bursts through the front door of the Aries house, ready for his fresh, new, sober start. The week ends with the Sun and landlord Mars planning a new extension to the Aries house. It always gets crowded there this time of year.


Aries

Did last week not live up to the promises of renewed Va Va Voom? Was it disjointed? A little bit Va? A bit oom? This week adds continuity — particularly from late Wednesday onwards when your sign gets more company and your ruler plays nice — gives you the engine you need to pick up the speed, and a pen to add an exclamation mark.



(YOUR-O-Scopes:


http://www.humorscope.com


cowgrass…you’re soaking in it.)

1 comment:

  1. God bless Piper Laurie! I don't know about over there in SoufPhillyLand, but the sun is peeking at us here in Camden Towne. I feel like a death row inmate strapped to a gurney who hears the phone ringing. Of course, with my luck, it's probably just a telemarketer.

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